You are doing nothing. Just sitting and eating.

I’ve been in the UK since 2004 as a Student. And I got married last August and so I had a visa until March 2016. I went to visit family in Pakistan. When I came back from the visit on the 24th of January they detained me from Heathrow. I was taken to Tinsley House and I’ve been here ever since.

I have been diagnosed with Diabetes before March 2015. I use tablets. It’s the detention, I’m so stressed now. I’ve been here 9 months.

So many times I have been refused bail. I have been here 10 years, legally in this country. My case is in the Upper Tribunal I’m waiting for this. They are not responding. 9 months and I am still here.

I don’t have the money the money to take on the case. The legal aid lawyer gives you a consultation but they can’t take it on without money. They only do asylum, not my family case. I have a EU resident card, it was issued in Liverpool and lasts from 2011 until March 2016. There’s 5 months remaining.

You are doing nothing. Just sitting and eating. So many people are coming and going. They just keep you just like criminals. 9 months. It’s just not fair. Today I got a monthly report-  but they just gave me the previous month’s. All the time I’ve been thinking what’s happening next. I’m always thinking where is the justice. I’m here and I’m crying to God to ask him to help me. At 4 o’clcok in the morning I wake up and I speak to him and ask him to help me. I ask where is the justice.  Where are the human rights?

They have given no response – they took my interview – but nothing. I’ve got no justice. I’m late for the justice now. I’m waiting for it. But how long can it take. I’m here in prison – Thinking how long will it take too much thinking. No activities, it’s boring.

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Why do they want to handcuff people to take them to hospital?

There are people here with cancer and HIV. They are coughing and they need to go to hospital. They are supposed to check my blood test because I have HIV. But they need handcuff us to go to hospital. I’m in a public place. People can see you – no one wants to be handcuffed here. No one is running away. Why do they want to handcuff people to take them to hospital? I refused to go to hospital. I should not be coughed to go to hospital. Every three months I go to see about the count wehterh its gone up. But now I’m not going to hospital because they have to handcuff me. There are other girls who refusing to go to hospital as well.

When i come to this country I was married to an English man.

When i come to this country I was married to an English man. He had HIV. After one year of marriage it didn’t work because he wanted to fuck me in my bum. I said no its against my religion. And he called immigration and cancelled my passport and my visa. And after three months I go to hospital and they tell me I have HIV. I used to see my husband taking medication but I cannot read English. I can speak English well but I can’t read it. He didn’t tell me he had HIV. So now I am on medication i realised it is the medication my husband used to take. Immigration now are trying to deport me and I am on medication and I have to take it all my life, my family will not accept it and buy my medication because they do not accept my marriage. I got married without my family’s consent so the will not help me. When I was was married I was 15 at the time and he was 53. Since then I lived in the street, I am stressed, I cannot walk in the street. I cannot trust no one. I don’t know what happened to me. That cause me stressed, and I get more violent when I am stressed and I was in prison for a violent crime. I feel like no-one is there to help me. Immigration won’t help me. They say when my husband abused me why didn’t I report it? I said I didn’t speak English and i didn’t know the law.

Before I was helpless but then I was powerful

I’ve been detained in Yarl’s Wood for 15 plus months. I’m a vulnerable adult. I have serious health issues and I’m a victim of torture. I have an up coming important appointment with Helen Bamber Foundation and Bedford Hospital.  I have a six year old daughter in London who stays with her father.

But still the home Office decided to deport me and having no chance to put in my fresh claim. I had a ticket last Tuesday evening to Kenya and then to Namibia.  After lunch the officers came to me to take me to the reception. I didn’t want to go so before they came I was hiding in another girls’ room. They were looking for me. My friends would tell me on the phone where the officers were so I could run to a different place. I ended up in Dove wing. It was an empty room – because it had bed bugs. I went in there I lay down under the mattress and I stripped off all my clothes. One officer came in and picked up the mattress. And they screamed and called others. Four or five female officers came in and took me. I was screaming and crying “I don’t want to go, I am a victim of torture, I have a 6 year old daughter”. The officers covered me in blankets. It took an hour to take me. They said just go to reception and you can explain to them why they shouldn’t take me. So I put on my clothes and about 10 guards took me there through the back door. And the other girls were locked in their room but I could hear them “Don’t go don’t go”.

I taken to a room in recember. Four people came into the room and introduced themselves and I said I wanted to explain why you shouldn’t take me. They said no, we are escorts. I said ‘But I was told you were immigration officers’. They said no, the officers lied. They searched me, looking in my mouth, my whole body and in my shoes. They put on this tag on me to tie my hands together and put something like a belt, a special life belt around my waist. The officers were beside me – if I ran away they could pull me back with the belt. It was tight.

But how could they lie to a vulnerable person. I’m so angry with them. I know they are just doing a job.

They took me in the car – they untied my hands but the belt was still there. They drive me to the airport. They said it was just their job. Some people they take naked, some have clothes. They said calm down – we know you have a daughter, we know how stressful. They were a little bit nice, they said don’t upset yourself too much.

I had put in a JR and I had support form Black women Against Rape and Movement for Justice and Yarl’s Wood Befrienders as well. They had got support for me on the internet to stop  the flight. When we arrived at the airport – I could hear people screaming – the said ‘Stop! Don’t take her on the flight’. I didn’t see them – but I could hear them screaming ‘stop stop’ and the air crew told me what they were saying. I felt really great- I was so happy. I felt really powerful. Before I was helpless but then I was powerful, I was excited.

I went in the plane and sat between the two officers. I was thinking about ways to misbehave. Then suddenly another escort came from behind said stop stop stop. Everything happened quickly. They said get off quickly quickly. I couldn’t believe it. And they took me to Colnbrook and I’m waiting to go back to Yarl’s Wood. Yarl’s Wood is not safe – it should be shut down. Nobody is safe in there.

I’m thankful to the judge who stopped the flight and all the people who have supported me.

When they asked about my report in the court nothing tangible was written down. What they said it was like i was lying.

When they asked about my report in the court nothing tangible was written down. What they said it was like i was lying. Before that day I was complaining to them, the way I am feeling. I am feeling stressed. I am hearing voices. I lost my husband. Nothing was written about that. They are saying I’m lying. I reported it because I am feeling pain in my leg and my arm, that is what cause me to fall down that day. They don’t care about my life. I loose my husband for god sake. Now they are still looking at me like I am pretending. How can I pretend to loose a loved one.
When they took my medical report they said I am fixed, everything is all rights. They are telling me I am lying, that I’m OK.
What can they do to help me? I looked after my husband and when got arrested I told them about my husband. What can they do to prevent my husband to die? They said I would abscond but my husband is British so where am I going to abscond to? They didn’t get someone to look after my husband and six weeks after I was arrested my husband died. Now because I don’t have a husband they say I have to return to my country. My life is in danger in my country.
What is happening in the kitchen now. I am working in the kitchen, which I believe they are supposed to give facilities for ladies to go to the toilet. When I was in the prison they had two toilets and I was expecting that. When you leave the officers search you. I never knew that. I was about to go to the toilet. I asked, ‘Please can you show me the toilet?’ The lady said we didn’t have toilets. I was so stressed. I had my period I needed to go to the toilet. ‘We don’t have toilets here’. They had to get an officer to search me before I could go outside. The officer I spoke to was a woman I asked her to search me so I could go out, but she said she couldn’t. I had to wait over 15 minutes for an officer and I weed on my body. That was cruel. That’s the was we are treated here. I can’t treat my animal like that, the way they are treating us here. If anyone told me this treatment I wouldn’t have believed it but it happened to me. If they can’t look after us they should let us go. I have finished my sentence they are keeping me here. They should let me go. One mistake. They won’t give us another opportunity.

Theres fire in Yarl’s Wood. Its spreading.

Theres fire in Yarl’s Wood. Its spreading. Its coming from crane. The police are there. The fire is very powerful. They say there is a fire door but the door is on fire. Three girls have gone to hospital already. We all think we are going to die. The girls are screaming and crying. They think they are going to die. Fire, ambulance and police truck. Don’t cry, don’t dry. 

They are trying to put the fire out. The police are at our block now and saying it is under control.

One Indian girl, she has asthma. We don’t want to die, we don’t want to die. Don’t cry, don’t cry. FIRE FIRE FIRE. All the girls are screaming screaming. We are OK. Its ok its OK. WAKE UP WAKE UP. Everyone is screaming, too many things going on. 

They want to kill us so we don’t fight. They are trying to kill us so we don’t fight. 

Fours girls now go to hospital. One girl has epilepsy. She has gone. 

We don’t know how the fire started. A woman set herself on fire. She want to kill herself she put fire on herself. The officers were saying things to her and set herself on fire. You are supposed to go into the garden but they were telling people go into their room. Four people have set themselves on fire. Everyone is scared. They are taking down that people are on phones and contacting people. This needs to stop. 

If this door was a fire door it would not go on fire. 

I want to tell you about what’s going on with the fire

I want to tell you about what’s going on with the fire. There was a a big fire. A woman was going through stress. She was crying and no one was paying any attention. A woman tried set the room on fire. She light the room and she was sitting there. There was smoke. There were a lot of screaming and crying. The fire brigade were here. It happened about 20 minutes ago. Everyone had to go to the gym.

It’s really bad. It’s really bad. It’s getting from bad to worse. You don’t know what’s happening here. You can be sleeping and die because of the smoke. Anything can happen because of the stress people are going through. You don’t know what can happen. It’s really really bad tonight.

Everywhere you go you can smell the smoke. People had to cover their nose. Even people upstairs.

Four people have gone to hospital. I don’t know if the woman was okay because they had to pull her out. I don’t know what’s happened now.

Yarl’s Wood needs to close down. People are suffering here.