For someone like me that they cannot deport, why am I still here? Why do they play that game?

The reason I am here is because of a mistake in identity. And, well, the HO had me mistaken with someone else and the because of that I have been detained for 9 months. They tried to deport me once to Mauritius, because the document wasn’t right the airport wouldn’t put me on the plane. Then the Mauritian embassy said the HO cannot use that document any more because they don’t believe I am from there country. I am telling the HO for 1,5 years that my name is different, the reason why I haven’t said it before, unfortunately I went in prison, I do admit I made a mistake, I went on with the wrong crowd, when I realised things were not right, and tried to get out there were starting to threaten me, and threaten my partner. And my good friends, they were trying to find out where I live and make lots of threats. I got hit a couple of times, it was quite severe. In the end, I plead guilty. I kind of, I was the only one whose gone to prison. So then, because that, I couldn’t tell anyone, I couldn’t even defend myself. I became clinically depressed, my anorexia kicked in again and I was sectioned. All that pressure. And I was in the psychiatric ward, it became too much. But, so that is the reason why at the time , I told them, I always told them all the way, that I have never said that I am that Mauritian women. It has nothing to do with me, the document was found, but it doesn’t even have my picture. They couldn’t found out who I was , so they said I am that woman. I didn’t know what to do. To an extent I accept that responsibility, it became a nightmare, it is also partly my fault. If I had said it at the time, but then either I get hurt or people I love get hurt, I had to chose and I chose to protect people that I love. But now it created a lot of confusion and a lot of issues, but still I had , I

have a biological sister in Liberia, we were estranged for quite some time, more than 12 years we have got back together, my friend found here. We got back talking. When all of this happened she started helping me to get my documents together. I left Liberia at the age of 7, I was adopted by a British family. I don’t think I was legally adopted, I mean that was the 70s in Liberia, you could just take children, I was an orphan. My biological mum died, and I was left with no one. My sisters dad didn’t want to take me on. What I became after was not good, they were homophobic. They were diplomats so I moved around with them. I had 4 other siblings, all adopted from African backgrounds. I got a good education. That’s all I know about my biological side, and my sister doesn’t know much either. I was too young.

When my adopted family, when I was 16, we were posted to Morocco. I sent a letter to another female, how I felt and it was intercepted by one of the nannies and I got beaten. It was very regimental, very strict, we were home schooled. The beating were proper beatings, like awful punishment. I couldn’t move, it was a nightmare. So when I turned 18 a friend of mine from Sierra Leone to run away from them. We went to South Africa and he got me a job there. For a couple of years and then things started to be a bit better, I still had severe nightmares. But then he said they are getting closer and they will find me, and I was told that I belong to them, I was adopted and they give me anything, I am just an object.

It was an outrage, they said I was not a normality, I was defective, they said its not normal to like women, it doesn’t make sense. When he said they are getting closer, he said we better run away. Then we ran away to Kenya. They were British. We never saw the documents, where we used to go. But they never brought us to Britain, so that’s why I got to think why I was not legally adopted, because we never came here.

My friend said he knew someone who help people to cross over, so this is what we have done. I was working, in a call centre and stuff like that. I had to give some money to my friend who was helping me, to pay the agent. It took a couple of years to cross and come over here. And in between I was abused by that agent and it got on me really bad. I just tried to pretend it didn’t happen and brush it off. So when I get ill, it gets really to me. I just get on with things and then throughout the years I got a really anxious person, that is connected to the food disorder, I get really anxious and cant eat and get really depressed and its that sort of cycle that I cant break. I never got any help for what I went through. All the nightmares I get, they get worse when I am unwell. I can deal with things.

I came over here we landed in Dover, we drove. Through France. The agent gave me to someone else and was like, and there was another female. We had to go with that guy. I don’t want to mention his name, because I think he still lives in White City, and I don’t want to get in trouble. He took us to his place and I got a so called job, a topless bar in Soho . Thats pretty much my life, I was abused many times, we had part of it, there was nowhere to go, we were new in the country. So we where there for some time, we made a couple of friends, one friend she helped us to get away from it.

We were new in the country, so we had nowhere to go. My friend never said I should claim asylum, but that is what I should have done at the time, but we were never guided, we were underground and we had to be careful. You found a job and you worked cash in hand, someone says you are a hard worker and that’s how I lived for 20 years. I worked at a florist shop, I was in shared accommodation, it went on like that. I worked for a Launderette some time. It was different back then. I met some nice people that I am still friends with today.

Then only this one group. In the beginning he was kind of okay, only until a couple of years later. Over here I had a couple of female partners, before I got with this guy. I went out with A for a couple of years, we lived together. I had unresolved issues of the past and I found it difficult to speak to her about it and it was still hurting me. So, I had couple of female partners. It wasn’t until a few years later, we were going out and you know, for 2,5 years. I met D in 2001, a few months later we had a sling. When I left S, then I was with him. I was in a good place, he liked me. I got a job, he helped me. I felt lucky, he didn’t ask me for any document, I never thought anything was wrong. So it kind of, you know. So many things happened in my life.

I found it quite difficult, when I realised things were not right with this lot, he knew a lot of people, he had people in the police, I had no way, even if I wanted to go to the authorities. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to protect him. He didn’t know something was wrong, and I distanced myself from other friends, because I didn’t want them to get into trouble. It became an absolute nightmare and no where I am today. I got arrested, I became ill, I got a hefty sentence. There was a lack of defence, I wasn’t well. The anxiety was at a a high level, I was at a very dark place. I didn’t know what to do. He had contacts with the police force, so then I thought where do I go? I couldn’t even go to the authorities. Where I was at I was vulnerable, and I didn’t know what to do. And then it all happened, once I got to the half of my sentence I got moved to Yarl’s Wood and they tried to deport me. All the solicitors , all the accountants everyone got away, it was all on my shoulders. His contacts are helping it, it was all put on my shoulders. If things get resolved, everyone reading the story, they will think its not possible for all this lot to get away. But I plead guilty, so there was no way out, I had no choice. Even the solicitors after, they said they cannot believe I pleaded guilty that this was the possibility, and yet it happened. It was too late and my credibility was gone and they would all hide behind my guilty plead. You could see that I couldn’t have done that alone, but unfortunately it happened the way it happened.

People need to know about detention, I think no one should be in detention. This is not a nice place, people are treated like numbers, the healthcare is crap, this is like a prison. Its really crap. You haven’t got any, you know, people are tricked. They try to trick people to do things they don’t want to do. A lot of the women here don’t understand what the officers are saying, many here don’t speak English well, so they use that against them. They scare them, and say that not right your case, they trick them to get sectioned. They do dirty tricks. They are just moppets of the home office, that is what goes on. My personal experience, you have no access to social media, we don’t have access to sites like yours, things that could help detainees, that is limited. I cant access it. We don’t have access to Free Movement, so many pages, we cant see the case law, cases to do with detention or immigration , we cant use face book, it makes it more difficult to communicate with people on the outside. It is an absolute disaster, the food is bad I am not catered for, it is all stodgy.

There is no care here, it is run by G4S and they are run by the HO. They don’t think about peoples health, I filed numerous complaints. My own solicitors, they had a look at all my medical records and said this is an outrage . I am not being treated that what I have been diagnosed with in the past, only for a few weeks I have been treated for illness in my stomach. I cannot eat at all, food repulses me, they give me a cocktail of medication, all in all 600 calories. I feel weak, I still drink, years when I was sectioned, I couldn’t drink then. Now I can drink, I am still down and its not easy. Its a big effort. My foot is swollen, I have pins and needles. Now they are telling me I have to wait for 4 days to see a doctor. I cant walk, I don’t know what they are waiting for.

There is no duty of care in the detention system, really really not good. For someone like me that they cannot deport, why am I still here? Why do they play that game that they give me a monthly report, its some kind of game, I don’t know. Absolutely out of order. If you got a bail hearing coming up, even if they know they cant put you on a plane, they give you tickets.

If they take me back to Ghana I will kill myself.

I came to this country in 1999, to be with my brother and my sister. I have a wife here. I have been in this country for almost 18 years.In 2012 I applied as an over-stayer. The Home Office didn’t respond. Nothing. I waited. I checked with my solicitor and they still have no response from the Home Office. I reported my situation to my MP in Peckham, London, they wrote the Home Office for me. They said they had spoken to the Home Office, but still I heard nothing back from them. I waited another 2 months and went again to my MP. Again they wrote to them. Still I heard nothing, In 2015, 3 years later, the Home Office wrote to me saying I had been refused. Why? I have been here long time, I have family here.

After I was refused the home Office told me to report at the immigration centre every 2 weeks. I did this. One day I didn’t go to report, because my sister had passed away in Birmingham. I wrote to them to tell them I would miss one week. The Home Office was not OK with this. They called me and told me to go to the immigration centre in Croydon. I went to Croydon and they interviewed me for a long time. After the interview they gave me a ticket to go back to Ghana for THAT night, at 10pm. I went with them to the airport, though I had no money and non of my things with me. The officer offered my £20 to return to Ghana with- are they insulting me?! I cannot return to a place I haven’t been for 15 years with £20. My ticket for the flight was cancelled. But I was not released, instead they took my to the detention centre.

The way they are treating us is in the detention centre is very, very bad. The toilets haven’t been cleaned for over a week- they are disgusting. The food is very bad. They know the food is not good. Last night they just gave me bread and rice, no sauce, nothing. When you go to the healthcare here- you have to queue for over 1 hour, just for painkillers.

On Wednesday they give me another ticket to Ghana. Now they have given me a ticket for the charter flight next week.

What do the they expect me to do? They are trying to deport me when I don’t have one penny in my pocket. How can I leave me wife in this country? How can I leave my brother and his children in this country? My family and my life is here in the UK. If they take me back to Ghana I will kill myself.

I have been in this country for almost 18 years. I have applied for asylum because I am not safe to go back there. The Home Office know this, I have given them all of my evidence. I have no criminal record, no contact with the police. Just the Home Office making problems. The Home Office don’t respect me. They don’t listen to me. They don’t listen to my wife. It is not OK to treat people like this.

The Home Office don’t follow the laws of this country. We all follow the law, but they don’t. It is not fair.

Instead of bringing me to the hospital, they are making excuses. They don’t bring me to the hospital to see the specialists

Its really hard, because its like 4 months I am here and I feel like more than 4 years. My life, I have lot of personal problems, I have been here and I cannot get any treatments. Even the doctor has said to me it is about my mind. It is hard to get treatment, its lot of people every day people are coming. You have to share the room with people. Its very complicated because I have health problems, I have ear infections for years and years and many other problems.

When I was outside it was not a big things, first thing when I was outside I was going to the doctor, they made me a surgery. I was supposed to go to a surgery in October, I got paperwork about that, I provided everything to the healthcare in the detention centre. They cancelled it, they said its too hard to take me out from here. They said they arrange another appointment.

The food is really bad, I cant eat everything , the toilets are really dirty. It is really hard and I am getting lost and lost. It has been 4 months since they cancelled. What happened it is really not fair. You know the doctor gave me 4 different kinds of antibiotics, very powerful. Instead of bringing me to the hospital, they are making excuses. They don’t bring me to the hospital to see the specialists.

I said to the doctor, I showed it to the doctor outside, 4 different antibiotics in 2 weeks. He said this can only be done through an operation. I may loose my hearing. Something comes out of my ear, I have to wash my sheets every second day. Its very embarrassing. They try to solve it with tablets. He said he will refer me to the specialist. I am just going down with my mental problems, I am seeing the psychologist every week. Even the psychologist said it will not end very soon. I say just release me , it will be a quick fix. I haven’t talked to my parents for 2 months, I haven’t talked to my family for 2 months. I can’t find them anymore. I am scared.

They treat us like animals, what do we have? In the end of the day we are losers, I am happy that I still survive. I don’t know when I am going to go out, its like hell over here. I will definitely help everybody who is in the detention centre when I get out. I know how hard it is for people here, waiting in the queue for half an hour to get two paracetamol. I got flu, I got cold, I got cancer, I got pain in my leg, they just give you paracetamol. It is really hard for me, I feel like my future is getting spoiled. I thought I will live 100 years, but I don’t see my future from here. I got loads of problems back home, I am scared all of the time, am I going to be tortured, am I going be dead. I am not saying, just accept my case straight away. I know it takes time to go through my case, but I am spoiling every second every minute , but just release me, I will not run away, I am fearing my life, I will not go back home.

I have friends outside, it is a waste of time in here. Everything is not gonna be solved, my skin is going weird, one of the nurses said it is because of the water here. What can I do? Should I stop taking shower? I go every two weeks to the doctor, I say tell the home office. So many people say so many different kind of things. But at the end of the day I have to my body with that waters. One of my friends, he sent him back now, he had the same problem. After taking shower, he had red marks on his body. Mine is kind of, like a rash , in the morning when I wake up, it really hurts. I have been getting them on my hand, on my feet. I heard lots of people saying here, you can get a very itchy body, very dry body. You just press the button for the shower and the water comes. You have no choice. I had a problem under my foot and I cant wear shoes. At the end of the day I am in big problems. It is not fair. The officer just try to let go everything and make excuses. And we just wait for weeks and months and it may go on for years. I just pray for God that I don’t live for long, things are getting worse over here. Otherwise I should go mental. I just think its better to go mental, then they would release me. It is very complicated. For my appeal hearing I tried to adjourn it until I am fit enough until I can concentrate properly, its my life, you know. But they refused, I couldn’t really concentrate because of the pain. It was really bad the hearing. It is not really fair, the people over here they know what needs to be done. Before my hearing, my solicitor sent a letter to the health care over here in the centre and made a request to write a letter to say that I am not fit enough to go to the hearing. After the appeal hearing they health care replied and said I am not fit enough. But it was too late, they are playing with my life.

I want to make sure I am not going on that plane. These charter flights are modern slavery.

I was detained 9th august last year and taken to the detention centre in Dorset. I claimed asylum in Dorset on 15th august. Before claiming asylum, they said an immigration officer would come within 48hours. But within 120hours still no officer came. When I was seen by an immigration officer, I complained that I had waited but nothing happened about the complaint.

I wrote 6 temporary admission letters, after claiming asylum, they were all ignored.

Early September I was transferred to Harmondsworth. When I came to Harmondsworth I came to welfare surgery to complain about the 120hour delay before being seen by an immigration officer and hearing nothing back about temporary admission and still nothing was done.

When I got to Harmondsworth I was treated like a prisoner, they locked me in the room after 8pm everyone is locked in. My liberty has not been respected. My human rights have not been respected. I spent 3 days in induction, before an officer transferred me to the ‘vulnerable adult’ section. I the ‘vulnerable adult’ section they don’t lock the door and you have just one room mate.

I ask the guards can you help me to call caseworker or immigration they do not support me, they don’t really care. When you go to complain they just ignore you. The healthcare department is totally s**t. The food is tasteless, rice and chicken, potato every week, the chips are cold, the food is totally outrageous, totally s**t, tastless, doesn’t taste of anything. When I book an appointment to get clothes for the gym, they said they couldn’t help, they said I had to wear my jeans! Do they want me to be naked?!

That was some months ago.

I went to the asylum appointment. They put me on fast track- I’m not meant to be on fast track. It is meant to be finished but they are still doing it in secret! They decided my case in 1 week. On 11th September I went for the induction and on the 12th I went for the screening, 2 weeks after I went for the big interview. They said the decision would be made in one week. How can 1 week be enough time to get evidence? I need to get evidence from Nigeria, speak to my friends, to the doctors. Its not enough time.

I went to the healthcare on mid December. I went for my Rule 35 report. The doctor gave me the Rule 35 report saying I am an ‘adult at risk’ and not meant to be detained. I have scars from torture. The doctor said they are satisfied I am victim of torture. I sent the report to immigration, 3 days later immigration called me, they have assessed the rule 35 report. They agree I am a victim of torture but they still want to detain me. I quoted their policy to them but they said they “don’t know”. Now I have been detained for 4 months.

I went for bail, with my 2 sureties. The judge mentioned about my case- this is not meant to be in the bail hearing, it is meant to be just am I a risk to the public, do I have a certain address and sureties. The judge said “I’m refusing bail because you didn’t claim asylum on time”. The judge is not meant to mention about this. He refused the bail. I applied again for Temporary Admission in mid December, they ignored it.

At the moment, I have got my new evidence from Nigeria and am making a fresh claim. I have a letter from medical justice supporting my fresh claim but I am waiting for the doctor. But I have a ticket for the charter Flight on Tuesday I don’t know if they are going to cancel my ticket? They need to defer the ticket, they need to cancel it, but I don’t know what the home office is doing?? I want to make sure I am not going on that plane. These charter flights are modern slavery.

They are not helping at all. They are not following the rules. They are treating people like they are animals. No human rights. They didn’t respect anything. They are not helping anybody.

They have kept me in detention for 9 months for no reason.

They have kept me in detention for 9 months for no reason. I left my country to seek a better life. Not to be in here. They feed us chips and rice everyday, everday. We are humans, we need to eat good food. They treat you nationals from other countries like animals. We only want freedom but I’ve been in here for 9 month. I’m only 21 years old. Obviously I left my country for some reason. If my country was good I wouldn’t have left. I came when I was 13 years old.

They want to deport me. If I go back to Afghanistan I don’t know no one there. Where am I going go, how am I going to survive. I can’t even speak the language properly now. And they keep me here for 9 months and I don’t know what to do. My father died in Afghanistan and my mum sent me here. I told the social services but the Red Cross can’t find my mum. So I have no one there. The home office just want me to die. They want me to go there and die.

I want people to know that when some people say they spending money on refugees, what they really do is they buy rice and chips and give it to you in here. I’ve seen people in here with mental problems because of what the home office does and I don’t want it to happen to me. They think everyday that they are going to get released. There are people with no support and they get released. And some people who have friends and girlfriends outside they don’t get out.

They are saying you have to have friends who are working and earning money to get bail. The home office says I have to have friends with a thousand pounds in their accounts. I have friends but they’re all in university and those that are working are not earning that much so they can’t be a surety for me.

I should be out. I should be enjoying myself. I should be doing something with my life. I am wasting my life. I should be out doing something for my life and for my girlfriend. When I was out I was doing college studying ICT and business. In here they are just doing ESOL but obviously I can already speak English.

I want people to know what they’re doing to refugee.