For someone like me that they cannot deport, why am I still here? Why do they play that game?

The reason I am here is because of a mistake in identity. And, well, the HO had me mistaken with someone else and the because of that I have been detained for 9 months. They tried to deport me once to Mauritius, because the document wasn’t right the airport wouldn’t put me on the plane. Then the Mauritian embassy said the HO cannot use that document any more because they don’t believe I am from there country. I am telling the HO for 1,5 years that my name is different, the reason why I haven’t said it before, unfortunately I went in prison, I do admit I made a mistake, I went on with the wrong crowd, when I realised things were not right, and tried to get out there were starting to threaten me, and threaten my partner. And my good friends, they were trying to find out where I live and make lots of threats. I got hit a couple of times, it was quite severe. In the end, I plead guilty. I kind of, I was the only one whose gone to prison. So then, because that, I couldn’t tell anyone, I couldn’t even defend myself. I became clinically depressed, my anorexia kicked in again and I was sectioned. All that pressure. And I was in the psychiatric ward, it became too much. But, so that is the reason why at the time , I told them, I always told them all the way, that I have never said that I am that Mauritian women. It has nothing to do with me, the document was found, but it doesn’t even have my picture. They couldn’t found out who I was , so they said I am that woman. I didn’t know what to do. To an extent I accept that responsibility, it became a nightmare, it is also partly my fault. If I had said it at the time, but then either I get hurt or people I love get hurt, I had to chose and I chose to protect people that I love. But now it created a lot of confusion and a lot of issues, but still I had , I

have a biological sister in Liberia, we were estranged for quite some time, more than 12 years we have got back together, my friend found here. We got back talking. When all of this happened she started helping me to get my documents together. I left Liberia at the age of 7, I was adopted by a British family. I don’t think I was legally adopted, I mean that was the 70s in Liberia, you could just take children, I was an orphan. My biological mum died, and I was left with no one. My sisters dad didn’t want to take me on. What I became after was not good, they were homophobic. They were diplomats so I moved around with them. I had 4 other siblings, all adopted from African backgrounds. I got a good education. That’s all I know about my biological side, and my sister doesn’t know much either. I was too young.

When my adopted family, when I was 16, we were posted to Morocco. I sent a letter to another female, how I felt and it was intercepted by one of the nannies and I got beaten. It was very regimental, very strict, we were home schooled. The beating were proper beatings, like awful punishment. I couldn’t move, it was a nightmare. So when I turned 18 a friend of mine from Sierra Leone to run away from them. We went to South Africa and he got me a job there. For a couple of years and then things started to be a bit better, I still had severe nightmares. But then he said they are getting closer and they will find me, and I was told that I belong to them, I was adopted and they give me anything, I am just an object.

It was an outrage, they said I was not a normality, I was defective, they said its not normal to like women, it doesn’t make sense. When he said they are getting closer, he said we better run away. Then we ran away to Kenya. They were British. We never saw the documents, where we used to go. But they never brought us to Britain, so that’s why I got to think why I was not legally adopted, because we never came here.

My friend said he knew someone who help people to cross over, so this is what we have done. I was working, in a call centre and stuff like that. I had to give some money to my friend who was helping me, to pay the agent. It took a couple of years to cross and come over here. And in between I was abused by that agent and it got on me really bad. I just tried to pretend it didn’t happen and brush it off. So when I get ill, it gets really to me. I just get on with things and then throughout the years I got a really anxious person, that is connected to the food disorder, I get really anxious and cant eat and get really depressed and its that sort of cycle that I cant break. I never got any help for what I went through. All the nightmares I get, they get worse when I am unwell. I can deal with things.

I came over here we landed in Dover, we drove. Through France. The agent gave me to someone else and was like, and there was another female. We had to go with that guy. I don’t want to mention his name, because I think he still lives in White City, and I don’t want to get in trouble. He took us to his place and I got a so called job, a topless bar in Soho . Thats pretty much my life, I was abused many times, we had part of it, there was nowhere to go, we were new in the country. So we where there for some time, we made a couple of friends, one friend she helped us to get away from it.

We were new in the country, so we had nowhere to go. My friend never said I should claim asylum, but that is what I should have done at the time, but we were never guided, we were underground and we had to be careful. You found a job and you worked cash in hand, someone says you are a hard worker and that’s how I lived for 20 years. I worked at a florist shop, I was in shared accommodation, it went on like that. I worked for a Launderette some time. It was different back then. I met some nice people that I am still friends with today.

Then only this one group. In the beginning he was kind of okay, only until a couple of years later. Over here I had a couple of female partners, before I got with this guy. I went out with A for a couple of years, we lived together. I had unresolved issues of the past and I found it difficult to speak to her about it and it was still hurting me. So, I had couple of female partners. It wasn’t until a few years later, we were going out and you know, for 2,5 years. I met D in 2001, a few months later we had a sling. When I left S, then I was with him. I was in a good place, he liked me. I got a job, he helped me. I felt lucky, he didn’t ask me for any document, I never thought anything was wrong. So it kind of, you know. So many things happened in my life.

I found it quite difficult, when I realised things were not right with this lot, he knew a lot of people, he had people in the police, I had no way, even if I wanted to go to the authorities. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to protect him. He didn’t know something was wrong, and I distanced myself from other friends, because I didn’t want them to get into trouble. It became an absolute nightmare and no where I am today. I got arrested, I became ill, I got a hefty sentence. There was a lack of defence, I wasn’t well. The anxiety was at a a high level, I was at a very dark place. I didn’t know what to do. He had contacts with the police force, so then I thought where do I go? I couldn’t even go to the authorities. Where I was at I was vulnerable, and I didn’t know what to do. And then it all happened, once I got to the half of my sentence I got moved to Yarl’s Wood and they tried to deport me. All the solicitors , all the accountants everyone got away, it was all on my shoulders. His contacts are helping it, it was all put on my shoulders. If things get resolved, everyone reading the story, they will think its not possible for all this lot to get away. But I plead guilty, so there was no way out, I had no choice. Even the solicitors after, they said they cannot believe I pleaded guilty that this was the possibility, and yet it happened. It was too late and my credibility was gone and they would all hide behind my guilty plead. You could see that I couldn’t have done that alone, but unfortunately it happened the way it happened.

People need to know about detention, I think no one should be in detention. This is not a nice place, people are treated like numbers, the healthcare is crap, this is like a prison. Its really crap. You haven’t got any, you know, people are tricked. They try to trick people to do things they don’t want to do. A lot of the women here don’t understand what the officers are saying, many here don’t speak English well, so they use that against them. They scare them, and say that not right your case, they trick them to get sectioned. They do dirty tricks. They are just moppets of the home office, that is what goes on. My personal experience, you have no access to social media, we don’t have access to sites like yours, things that could help detainees, that is limited. I cant access it. We don’t have access to Free Movement, so many pages, we cant see the case law, cases to do with detention or immigration , we cant use face book, it makes it more difficult to communicate with people on the outside. It is an absolute disaster, the food is bad I am not catered for, it is all stodgy.

There is no care here, it is run by G4S and they are run by the HO. They don’t think about peoples health, I filed numerous complaints. My own solicitors, they had a look at all my medical records and said this is an outrage . I am not being treated that what I have been diagnosed with in the past, only for a few weeks I have been treated for illness in my stomach. I cannot eat at all, food repulses me, they give me a cocktail of medication, all in all 600 calories. I feel weak, I still drink, years when I was sectioned, I couldn’t drink then. Now I can drink, I am still down and its not easy. Its a big effort. My foot is swollen, I have pins and needles. Now they are telling me I have to wait for 4 days to see a doctor. I cant walk, I don’t know what they are waiting for.

There is no duty of care in the detention system, really really not good. For someone like me that they cannot deport, why am I still here? Why do they play that game that they give me a monthly report, its some kind of game, I don’t know. Absolutely out of order. If you got a bail hearing coming up, even if they know they cant put you on a plane, they give you tickets.

My ex-husband said he knows I am being deported next week. He is waiting for me. He is planning to kill me.

I am in immigration detention. I have been in Yarls Wood, the women’s detention centre since September. I claimed asylum which was refused because of my sexuality. I am a lesbian which is not ok in Nigeria . I appealed, which was also refused. My lawyer has put in a second appeal to the Home office, and I am waiting. I have heard nothing back from them. My sister, who lives in London went to my MP’s office. My MP has called the Home Office but they ignored her. My lawyer is working to help me in my situation. But I have still heard nothing from the Home Office, instead they have given me a deportation ticket for next week.

Last week my friend called from Nigeria, she is looking after my 4 children in Nigeria. My ex husband called her , he is trying to take my children away from her. She has been forced to leave their home with my children. My ex-husband said he knows I am being deported next week. He is waiting for me. He is planning to kill me.

I have been in uk for 6 years. I had to leave Nigeria because I was scared of my husband. I was forced to marry him in an arranged marriage. My husband is trying to kill me, he has reported to the police that I am coming. They are all waiting for me. My lawyer has given me a letter to show to the guards at the airport. It says- I still have case with Home Office, and that my husband will kill me if I am deported.

I don’t want to go on that plane. I can’t go.

I have been living a miserable life since I was born, because I have to hide my sexuality. I cannot be free. I thought in UK I would be able to be lesbian and live free. But now they are trying to deport me to a country where I will not be safe because of my sexuality.

Since I have been in detention two of my children cannot go to school. Because I cannot work and send them, money. I send my children to school, without my husband helping. He doesn’t give them any money. If he kills me- who will I look after my children? They rely on me.

They should give me and my children a life. They should spare my life because of my children. I am begging.

…they don’t like all kinds of things, government is not allowing. So they just abused me, kicked me. I tried to escape from them, that’s why I am here.

I came from Nigeria in 2010, the problem is, I got problem with my ex-wife. During that time I met a white guy ,R, he came to Nigeria. We met and along that, he liked me, he looked after me, that’s why I go with him. During that problem I don’t know where is my wife and my kids, its a long situation. You know in Nigeria, they don’t like all kinds of things, government is not allowing. So when people get out with white people, so they just abused me, kicked me. I tried to escape from them, that’s why I am here.

I met another people here, because of fear from my country I was here you know, I tell them about my story, they know what I am up to. He said don’t worry I will take care of you in this country, but then he treat me badly and abused me. Its a long story. I then left his house, to be honest I slept outside in the train station for 2 weeks before I get another place to stay. It makes me sad when I remember it. In detention here, a lot of people here different different story, what I know some people don’t like me now, I cant go back to my country. So I have to find ways to make myself, what I try to do, people that I met here just try to put me through, that’s why I am in detention here, because someone gave me the document to work, and then they caught me when I was working. I did not want to steal anything, I just wanted to feed myself and make my life comfortable for me. I just used it to find something to feed myself, how am I supposed to think about it. Because I am not a scrounger, I used this country to save my life. I am not here to disrespect this country or disobey the law. Just before I lack in education, I didn’t know what is right, what is not right. Until I get this problem, I met different people.

We share what happened to us here in detention, people can say okay I am a drug dealer, I did this and that. So if I said them about my story they say I am not supposed to be here and in like that. All I know here different people that are, they are not supposed to be here.

I applied asylum this year and another friend and they approached me with asylum, my application made in January this year , I applied for bail last week it was rejected.

My fear is if I have to go back, they know about my relationship with me and R that’s why I had to come here, this kind of thing they don’t allow it in my country, people no allow it, and government is not allow it, if they catch someone like that they will be killed and they will be put in prison , and secondly like my life, when I remember, that memory for my, I lost my family, my wife, I didn’t see them, I don’t know where they are , like since 2009 my life is too sad, I care about my life and I just do it on my own. I don’t know why this thing happened to me.

I went straight way to UK home office for claim asylum. But got 7 month prison.

I went straight way to UK home office for claim asylum. But got 7 month prison with humiliation and shame, and forced to thinking I am not normal

 (Because I am Gay)

I am write this my story to explain problems with me since last summer. When I went home office straight way and claimed asylum and faces till now. I am in detention last from 7 months.

I was born in 1990 in India. I am homosexual person. I claimed asylum about my sexuality (Gay) and my gay partner here. He is from Pakistan (Muslim). I went straight way to home office for claim asylum.

I am having been in a committed relationship with my partner nearly 2 years. It’s very difficult to find someone who you can trust in this day and age. We have grown together mentally and spiritually and have found the perfect soul mates each other. We are simply made for each other. My life is empty without him.

We are from two different religious. I am Sikh and my partner is Muslim. We never want to apart and want continue to grow our relationship and be with each other for as long as possible.

Our communities do not accept us. Gays in our religions are not accepted. The Authorities in our community do not accept us.

United Kingdom makes us feel safe and we feel we have human rights here and have no fear of being who we naturally are. My partner and I are settled here and he cannot move to India with me because he is Pakistani.

Traditional Indian attitudes towards homosexuals have not changed. My own family attitudes have not changed. My own father has disowned me. None of my immediate or extended family maintains a relationship with me. I am a Sikh, where men are being proud of being men. They do not accept gays at all. Having a child who is gay brings shame on to the whole family and gays treated like Lepers. My father is priest in the temple and he is accountable to many other people and he will never accept me. I had turban and hair before when I was in India. When I came here I cut it off.

My partner on working visa in the UK. He could never go back Pakistan as our sexuality is not accepted in Pakistan it is equally frowned upon in India and being two different religious makes it very difficult to sustain our religion. He already have a lot of issues if he want to travel to India with a Pakistani passport.

I claimed asylum last summer through UKLGIG UK LESBIEN GAY IMMIGRATION GROUP. I went home office straightway. My claim was refused after a month on the basis that I can relocate within India and live normally as a homosexual. No proper weight was given to that fact that we are in relationship and that if I goes back not only I would be subjected to harm but our relationship will come to an end.

Home office accepted me I am gay. But said you can go India and can relocate there. I gave to then so many proof of my sexuality am openly gay here, fears in India with gays, bad behavior with gays in India. And proof with my partner, supporting letter from my all gay friends and from organization. My all gay’s friends knows we are gay couple from long time and LGBT group also knows.

Even in detention centre I have so many problem about my sexuality. So many time I complain to officer’s manger detention service and also IMB. But couldn’t get any good response. I have also witness statement about harassment in detention centre.

I am in detention last from 7 months no anyone here to listen or understand me. Really this UK human right which they giving me. I constantly have suicidal thoughts when I think that they will send me back. I am constantly scared and don’t eat or sleep well in here. The longer I am here my mental state keeps deteriorating.

UK where is every person got a human right and live life free and easily according to own wish. Even here animal (Dog) got a right to live freely .so why I have not? Is this UK human right? What they doing with me. My mistake is that I came straightway to home office and gave them to my passport. And my fault is that I was born like this (Gay) and I was born in India. And I love with Pakistani out of border from my country.

Really home office realized me I am Gay. This is my mistake. Because they punish me like this. Maybe if was not gay I never came home office for asylum. I strongly believe that my relationship (article 8) has been continuously violated by keeping me in detention centre and separated to me from my partner.

I am not well educated either as I left my family at a very early age to avoid constant harassment. Having left home I have been a victim to child abuse in India. For you to send me back to India, I will mentally feel tortured. It will be like you throwing in a live volcano. I will not be able to live and will commit suicide.

I have been living in the Detention Centre for a while and have had transient friends. As a gay person I have not had any harassment when I was living outside of the Detention Centre. I have faced regular harassment in home country and was free of that in London; however the same fear has now set in me as it has begun within the Detention Centre. I now constantly feel unsettled and nervous throughout the day and have difficulty sleeping at night. I have also lost my appetite in the Detention Centre. I often cry at night in my bed as I feel very very low in side. I feel humiliated, tormented and constantly scared.

Article 8 of the ECHR states that: Right to respect private and family life 

  1. Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his correspondence
  1. There shall be no interference by a public authority with the exercise of this right except such as is in accordance with the law and is necessary in a democratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic well-being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.

I strongly believe that my article 8 has been continuously violated, but regardless I am being stopped from having a private life with my partner.

Unlawful Detention

I being in detention has an immense effect on my health and also my friends, most importantly my partner is continuously in stress and gets anxious very soon these days. My partner is getting depressed due to these conditions in which he is being forcefully stopped from having a private life and starting a family. He does not want to go to a counsellor as it will affect his career which has abundant prospects for him. I am still detained for no concrete reason. As it is suggested in the UKBA Enforcement and Guidance.

Even the ICIBI found that now it has become a norm to disregard evidence and consider detention regardless of the rights and evidence that the person has provided:

……is fuelling a culture where the default position is to identify factors that justify detention rather than considering each case in accordance with the published policy

Effects of Prolonged Detention

My health have been affected due to detention, I have mental stress and also my partner and friends suffering due to me being in detention, and in stress. When I was detained I weighted 48 kg and now my weight has decreased to 43 kg. I have developed a habit of not-eating due to depression and stress. In detention I have been victim of bully, abuse and humiliation because I am homosexual. I have been deprived of my liberty for such an extend period of time now that I am have a significant effect on my mental health and physical health; because I am uncertain that till when I will be released from detention and not to able my friends, and most importantly my partner. I have also started suffering from anxiety recently which is again having an adverse effect on my well-being.

And month ago on 29 January 2015 they took me so far from London and far from my partner. My partner and friends living in London. They can’t come here to easy meet me. I am in detention centre last from 7 months. Really I don’t want become a mad. I have also physical problem internal bleeding. But no one here to care of me. Harmondsworth health care always avoid my health problem. I need hospital treatment. I got appointment in hospital in April but not sure I will get in April or may be after. I just want to ask you my punishment not complete yet. How much I survive? I have my partner here. I can’t live without him. My partner can’t go India with Pakistani nationality.

I have no family in India even No any friend. When they will send me back in India where I will go? I also contact with LGBT in India but they didn’t give me any good response. Like name NAZ Project and UDAAN Organization. And I also sent email to INDIAN HUMAN RIGHT first they give me reply. But when I asked from them how you protect gays in India and which kind of human right you give to people. After that no reply from them. I attached new news about Indian gays. What government thinking about LGB people. And what GOA city minister said about them. Indian BJP (Bharti Janta party) and prime minister of India also with them. They want to make us normal. By medicine or other things. Am I not normal? And I have also new plenty of fresh evidence and supporting letters from my gay friends.

Home Office Made Mistake In My Case According To Me.

My case worker said I can continue my relationship in India as well if my partner here. She said I can continue my relationship on phone modern communication by skype, tango, SMS chat, etc. how it is possible. I want to know that what definition of relationship is. According to them.

They said which pics I have with my partner. Same pics with my other gay friends. So this is very little weight on my case. So mean they want to see my pornography which I couldn’t show to them. Why I? If I am gay that is that’s not mean I have no my self-respect. And according to European court law if anyone gay they don’t need to show any this kind of proof to home office for show sexuality or relationship.

They said if my partner can go Pakistan. He is well travelled to go Pakistan. Then he can arrange easily to go India and can meet me. How? If it’s easy can they arrange this arrangements for my partner and can home office can take his guarantee when he will go India. And lot of other things which home office did mistake.

Really still I have very strong case

We are both (me and my partner) suffering as we have been separated due to my immigration matter. Now we are in deep and committed to each other separating us is killing us and taking our life away. We are just empty souls without each other. We both are suffering mentally and physically due to the harsh conditions in detention centre.

No anyone knows which problems I am facing every day in detention. Where is some Asian Community treating me like an abnormal person? They see me like this they never see GAY person in life. Mam how can I hide my feelings how can I control on my feelings. I have no problem if someone call me GAY. But Asian community don’t call gay. I think they don’t know what is meaning of gay. They only know just this we are not a normal people. They use very cheap, bulgur, bad, language for us.

Where I go to ask this. Can I ask to you please? My punishment is not complete yet. My 6 months complete in detention (prison). According to home office rule include day and night my 1 year in detention centre. I am thinking this if I was not gay. May be I never came to home office direct for asylum. I am asking I am gay that’s why I am survive this punishment. And living alone without my partner. Where and which law write this if you not living together and not married then you are not real couple. They apart me separated me from him and keeping me in detention.

Really in UK detention condition is very bad. I am here gay person in detention from long time. Everyday am facing new problems in detention just about my sexuality. I been torture in India. Now as well in detention centre so many time. Why? Because I am Gay.

I asked home secretary Theresa may when my punishment will complete. Please don’t my life make worst and hell by send me back in India. I want to live my life happy, freely without any fear and humiliation with my partner in UK.

I have humble request for my life back by released me from detention centre and give back by my love my partner. And give me to right to live in United Kingdom with my partner and as an openly Gay here.

Now I got a ticket for India. My legal solicitor applied my fresh claim. I am going India. Really I don’t know what will happen with me over there. But UK immigration realized me I am Gay this is my fault. I just want to tell them please if you want to keep gay people so long in detention please open gay detention centres. Please keep separated from other detainee’s. Really I got very bad experience from this. Which I survive time in detention or which way I feel humiliation, shame, torture. I don’t want my other gay community face these things.

I sent email, letters, to so many people, organisations, for my help

  1. Her majesty Queen
  2. David Cameroon
  3. Theresa May
  4. MP of my area Barry Gardiner
  5. London Labour Party
  6. So many legal organisations
  7. Outside UK Canada, United States. Australia, Ireland, France, Germany
  8. Secretary of state William huge
  9. chief inspector of borders and immigration

I also got new news which is clearly shows the unacceptable, unfair treatment towards homosexuals in India. As you can see it states being homosexual you have disease which can be cured by reprograming. I find this to be unacceptable attitude. And I have also lots of new evidence (news) which are shows what is the bad behaviour with gays in India. This is new latest’s news which I am send you. I feel I cannot be myself you only have one life you should be able to live in a safe environment and live with my sweet partner openly here.

Please help me. I beg you please listen to my words. Every word is true. I am hanging on a thread and I need this governments support. I have been traumatized enough in India please don’t send me back. Please I beg you for your pity.