I can honestly say I have never felt so alone and hopeless in my life, but I have never felt such anger either.

We are still traumatised due to yesterday’s events, I can’t tell you how unsettling this is, I haven’t spoken to a single officer today and I don’t see how I can, I can’t even look them in the eyes, I just keep thinking “I wonder which one of you is going to put their hands on me” after what I saw last night I keep having flashbacks, I feel guilty like I should have done something more, it was very tense and I thought it was going to kick off at one point, we were crying shouting at the officers to let her go, and they were shouting in our faces and threatening us. I can’t get that image of her strapped like a Guantanamo inmate out of my mind.

I have never felt so vulnerable in my life and I have been in some shitty situations, I’m so anxious I can’t relax, it’s like I’m in the wolf’s den and I will get eaten eventually, I don’t know what is worse, the anticipation of the event or the event itself.

I can honestly say I have never felt so alone and hopeless in my life, but I have never felt such anger either.

I hope we can all stick together and stop this happening again, all detainees should stop being afraid, or use that fear to fight for their own and each other’s survival.

We have to make a stand for not just our rights but for what is right.

Unity and Solidarity is what will make the difference.

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We have a new chant for our protest and it goes “I’M NOT GOING OUT LIKE THAT”

What I have just witnessed has shocked and angered me so deeply I don’t know where to begin.

After doing a peaceful sit in against the continued detention of torture, rape, gender violence trafficking and modern day slavery victims, we had to witness a brutal removal of an African lady. Her hands were not even cuffed but rather some sort of tape or zip tie was used to tie her hands behind her back.

I and many fellow detainees were shocked and outraged by this and indeed we began to fall into descent before finally composing ourselves as we do not wish to behave like the animals that are detaining us and removing us.

I heard Rupert Soames testify to the Home Affairs Committee that Serco are only concerned with our welfare in detention and try to remove Serco from the reality of removing a person, (LIES, LIES, LIES) well I can tell you those were all Serco Officers brutally removing the lady not Tascor, and a Serco officer just confirmed to me as I am writing this, “it’s part of the job”.

Who’s job is it to uphold decency, human rights and civil liberty.

We have a new chant for our protest and it goes “I’M NOT GOING OUT LIKE THAT”

They put her in handcuffs.

There is a problem. There is a woman who has been in Yarl’s Wood for a year. She was in the kitchen all day working. They told her nothing.

Tonight, 7 male officers came to take her. They put her in handcuffs. It was very violent. She cried. She cried so much.  She was shouting help me, help me, help me.

Everybody jumped from their rooms into the corridor. We went to the door.  We said “go away leave the girl alone”. The officers were shouting back at us. The officers were saying “What the fuck are you doing? Go in your rooms. Shut your mouths.” They talk like that, you understand. It’s not funny. What is wrong with people here. We said why are you being rude to us, like the gestapo. They bully, bully bully you. It’s not nice. It’s violent, it’s very violent.

Why are we not allowed phones with cameras in here? They are hiding something you know, they are guilty. And they feel guilty because they are hiding something.

They have taken everyone they wanted to take

They have taken everyone they want to take. They are in segregation. I can only give you a picture of what has happened to our friend.

There were loads of officers, I couldn’t count how many. Male officers too. And she was naked. She had a pink nighty, very short short short, up over her. And they handcuffed her hands behind her back and pulled them up to her neck. They were punching her on her side. She was crying and we were screaming, “This is how you treat people?!”

The centre manager Jacki, she said she doesn’t care if they want to take her back to Nigeria. When they wanted to manhandle my friend they tell me to leave. Jacki, she told me to leave the room, she said “this is my centre” and I said “I am a visitor in this room and I am not going anywhere”.

Another officer was bullying her and shouting at our friend when they were trying to remove her. They were trying to shut me up too.

She has a JR in.

The flight is tonight at 23:30, from an army base. That is what they do, it isn’t in the proper airport it is at the cargo bit of the airport or at an army base.

I’m tired of this trauma. I’ve been through too much trauma. I’m tired. I’m here and they won’t be able to get the travel documents to move me. They won’t be able to get it.

Nothing can help you in this place. It is too much. Trauma upon trauma upon trauma.

 

So I will keep going, and try to stay strong, and I will not go gracefully, to exile.

I’m struggling to find reasons to keep going every morning as I have done for the past 5 months here on Yarl’s Wood.

So the demonstration yesterday was welcomed as it not only invigorated me a little but also showed many detainees that there are people out there who are aware of what is happening and are making a stand with us against this corrupt, immoral practice that is indefinite detention.

Some people were truly moved as I think we become so accustomed to the negativity and hostility of this entire process that you start to believe everyone and everything is against you. I know that’s how I feel, whether it’s healthcare, Home Office agents, or increasingly Serco staff, the environment is definitely getting more hostile for me, as I knew it might when we began our fight just over a month ago, but I honestly feel like I am fighting a losing battle already when it comes to my case personally.

I fight because I don’t have a choice, there is no alternative for me or indeed for so many people in here.

So I will keep going, and try to stay strong, and I will not go gracefully, to exile.

We want to thank all the protesters who were here today

We want to thank all the protesters who were here today, and I hope we made our presence felt even though we are oppressed.

I think one of the most shocking I saw today was officers using another detainee to try to intimidate us away from the windows.

We will not be intimidated, we have nothing to lose, and we will fight till we are free or dead.

SHUT IT DOWN!!!

To Wonderful People On planet earth!

To Wonderful People On planet earth!

First and foremost, I want to say thank you for your love, cares, supports, solidarity, voices and devotions. I am in great spirit today, seeing you all united for us, detainees here at Yarl’s Wood. Thank you very much.

After watching the BBC Parliamentary News a few days ago, chaired by Yvette Cooper with her interrogations which i sincerely appreciated. For those excellent and important questioning to the CEO’s Centre managers, HMPPS, especially to Julia Roger, Rupert Soames whom they have no answers that are consistent. Detainees such as me are disregarded, overlooked, there was a young lady amongst the audience, who can sincerely tell the world at large, if permitted the torment of individuals here in Yarl’s Wood, I am not a killer neither am I a terrorist.

Mercy should always triumph over Judgement, all we are saying as the voices of detainees is simply that at least amnesty should be granted for those who have made their lives here, and with children and have lived in the UK for at least five years and above.

Can you also believe that for the past three weeks we have no network on our individual phone, thus we can not call nor receive calls. It is that bad.

 

Here below is a little introduction to my own particular case.

My name is ****, I am presently in Yarl’s Wood detention centre. I have a rule 35, which  I am an adult at risk level 2, I’m disabled, with various health issues, my mobility is restricted. While I was in prison, I was better treated and my needs were met. I had occupational therapist, social worker and hospital consultants inputs. But since being here in Yarl’s Wood, you are treated as non-existent.

Further more, I am a victim of torture, domestic violence abuse, abandoned and forsaken for my sexuality, I am a mother also to my wonderful children whom are all born in the UK, British Citizens, and four of them has individual health challenges which put them under alot of medical;y traumatic situation. For example: wheelchair bound due to SMA and Sickle Anaemia, the youngest one has sickle cell anaemia also, and had stomach feeds and he is always in and out of hospital, while two others have mental health issues due to their ADHD and social anxiety. Which leaves my eldest daughter who has allergies and since developed depression and fatigue.

I know, I was sentenced to prison but whatever it is; my children and I have paid the price and maybe, never ever to forget that episode. I have since developed instability which has made my mental health and physical health worsen.

Detention centre here in Bedford called Yarl’s Wood is not fit for purpose, my mobility, my legs has been so swollen that I was rushed to Bedford hospital for suppected DVT, and immediately put on blood-clot-prevention-injection called warfarin, but since then nothing has been done. And I am on self-catheterisation which has been given by the hospital consultant and I am due for an operation due to my bladder problem, which is continuing. I am on tena pads which are not supplied by the centre, which I have to go to the welfare people to help get it for me. All these people can do is to get me few at a time. It is very embarrassing; my medication have been changed and down graded because healthcare can’t afford them, and the meds given are generic, as I was meant to understand.

I am also a victim of rape, what more can I give; my blood from my lifeless body as my mental health has become a real concern, even for the mental health team; I am on antidepressant. I am in a tight corner and the only solution persisting in my thought; is SUICIDE for me? But my children will probably want to do same. I can bear that thought.

I have been in detention for 8 months without any plan of what is next. The Home Office keep saying they are still trying to get emergency travel document to send me back to my torturers and to the country I no longer belong, I have not one family member there, after living in the UK for 33 years. My children are all alone without any help from the authority and they never been or ever want to be part of that country that I’m being forced to go.

HELP my family. I have my family, cousins, nieces/nephews here in the UK and Church family too. I don’t know anyone in Africa.

Once again, I thank you and I congratulate you on your sincere, competence and humanly concerns for detainees, especially solidarity to living a better world.