For someone like me that they cannot deport, why am I still here? Why do they play that game?

The reason I am here is because of a mistake in identity. And, well, the HO had me mistaken with someone else and the because of that I have been detained for 9 months. They tried to deport me once to Mauritius, because the document wasn’t right the airport wouldn’t put me on the plane. Then the Mauritian embassy said the HO cannot use that document any more because they don’t believe I am from there country. I am telling the HO for 1,5 years that my name is different, the reason why I haven’t said it before, unfortunately I went in prison, I do admit I made a mistake, I went on with the wrong crowd, when I realised things were not right, and tried to get out there were starting to threaten me, and threaten my partner. And my good friends, they were trying to find out where I live and make lots of threats. I got hit a couple of times, it was quite severe. In the end, I plead guilty. I kind of, I was the only one whose gone to prison. So then, because that, I couldn’t tell anyone, I couldn’t even defend myself. I became clinically depressed, my anorexia kicked in again and I was sectioned. All that pressure. And I was in the psychiatric ward, it became too much. But, so that is the reason why at the time , I told them, I always told them all the way, that I have never said that I am that Mauritian women. It has nothing to do with me, the document was found, but it doesn’t even have my picture. They couldn’t found out who I was , so they said I am that woman. I didn’t know what to do. To an extent I accept that responsibility, it became a nightmare, it is also partly my fault. If I had said it at the time, but then either I get hurt or people I love get hurt, I had to chose and I chose to protect people that I love. But now it created a lot of confusion and a lot of issues, but still I had , I

have a biological sister in Liberia, we were estranged for quite some time, more than 12 years we have got back together, my friend found here. We got back talking. When all of this happened she started helping me to get my documents together. I left Liberia at the age of 7, I was adopted by a British family. I don’t think I was legally adopted, I mean that was the 70s in Liberia, you could just take children, I was an orphan. My biological mum died, and I was left with no one. My sisters dad didn’t want to take me on. What I became after was not good, they were homophobic. They were diplomats so I moved around with them. I had 4 other siblings, all adopted from African backgrounds. I got a good education. That’s all I know about my biological side, and my sister doesn’t know much either. I was too young.

When my adopted family, when I was 16, we were posted to Morocco. I sent a letter to another female, how I felt and it was intercepted by one of the nannies and I got beaten. It was very regimental, very strict, we were home schooled. The beating were proper beatings, like awful punishment. I couldn’t move, it was a nightmare. So when I turned 18 a friend of mine from Sierra Leone to run away from them. We went to South Africa and he got me a job there. For a couple of years and then things started to be a bit better, I still had severe nightmares. But then he said they are getting closer and they will find me, and I was told that I belong to them, I was adopted and they give me anything, I am just an object.

It was an outrage, they said I was not a normality, I was defective, they said its not normal to like women, it doesn’t make sense. When he said they are getting closer, he said we better run away. Then we ran away to Kenya. They were British. We never saw the documents, where we used to go. But they never brought us to Britain, so that’s why I got to think why I was not legally adopted, because we never came here.

My friend said he knew someone who help people to cross over, so this is what we have done. I was working, in a call centre and stuff like that. I had to give some money to my friend who was helping me, to pay the agent. It took a couple of years to cross and come over here. And in between I was abused by that agent and it got on me really bad. I just tried to pretend it didn’t happen and brush it off. So when I get ill, it gets really to me. I just get on with things and then throughout the years I got a really anxious person, that is connected to the food disorder, I get really anxious and cant eat and get really depressed and its that sort of cycle that I cant break. I never got any help for what I went through. All the nightmares I get, they get worse when I am unwell. I can deal with things.

I came over here we landed in Dover, we drove. Through France. The agent gave me to someone else and was like, and there was another female. We had to go with that guy. I don’t want to mention his name, because I think he still lives in White City, and I don’t want to get in trouble. He took us to his place and I got a so called job, a topless bar in Soho . Thats pretty much my life, I was abused many times, we had part of it, there was nowhere to go, we were new in the country. So we where there for some time, we made a couple of friends, one friend she helped us to get away from it.

We were new in the country, so we had nowhere to go. My friend never said I should claim asylum, but that is what I should have done at the time, but we were never guided, we were underground and we had to be careful. You found a job and you worked cash in hand, someone says you are a hard worker and that’s how I lived for 20 years. I worked at a florist shop, I was in shared accommodation, it went on like that. I worked for a Launderette some time. It was different back then. I met some nice people that I am still friends with today.

Then only this one group. In the beginning he was kind of okay, only until a couple of years later. Over here I had a couple of female partners, before I got with this guy. I went out with A for a couple of years, we lived together. I had unresolved issues of the past and I found it difficult to speak to her about it and it was still hurting me. So, I had couple of female partners. It wasn’t until a few years later, we were going out and you know, for 2,5 years. I met D in 2001, a few months later we had a sling. When I left S, then I was with him. I was in a good place, he liked me. I got a job, he helped me. I felt lucky, he didn’t ask me for any document, I never thought anything was wrong. So it kind of, you know. So many things happened in my life.

I found it quite difficult, when I realised things were not right with this lot, he knew a lot of people, he had people in the police, I had no way, even if I wanted to go to the authorities. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to protect him. He didn’t know something was wrong, and I distanced myself from other friends, because I didn’t want them to get into trouble. It became an absolute nightmare and no where I am today. I got arrested, I became ill, I got a hefty sentence. There was a lack of defence, I wasn’t well. The anxiety was at a a high level, I was at a very dark place. I didn’t know what to do. He had contacts with the police force, so then I thought where do I go? I couldn’t even go to the authorities. Where I was at I was vulnerable, and I didn’t know what to do. And then it all happened, once I got to the half of my sentence I got moved to Yarl’s Wood and they tried to deport me. All the solicitors , all the accountants everyone got away, it was all on my shoulders. His contacts are helping it, it was all put on my shoulders. If things get resolved, everyone reading the story, they will think its not possible for all this lot to get away. But I plead guilty, so there was no way out, I had no choice. Even the solicitors after, they said they cannot believe I pleaded guilty that this was the possibility, and yet it happened. It was too late and my credibility was gone and they would all hide behind my guilty plead. You could see that I couldn’t have done that alone, but unfortunately it happened the way it happened.

People need to know about detention, I think no one should be in detention. This is not a nice place, people are treated like numbers, the healthcare is crap, this is like a prison. Its really crap. You haven’t got any, you know, people are tricked. They try to trick people to do things they don’t want to do. A lot of the women here don’t understand what the officers are saying, many here don’t speak English well, so they use that against them. They scare them, and say that not right your case, they trick them to get sectioned. They do dirty tricks. They are just moppets of the home office, that is what goes on. My personal experience, you have no access to social media, we don’t have access to sites like yours, things that could help detainees, that is limited. I cant access it. We don’t have access to Free Movement, so many pages, we cant see the case law, cases to do with detention or immigration , we cant use face book, it makes it more difficult to communicate with people on the outside. It is an absolute disaster, the food is bad I am not catered for, it is all stodgy.

There is no care here, it is run by G4S and they are run by the HO. They don’t think about peoples health, I filed numerous complaints. My own solicitors, they had a look at all my medical records and said this is an outrage . I am not being treated that what I have been diagnosed with in the past, only for a few weeks I have been treated for illness in my stomach. I cannot eat at all, food repulses me, they give me a cocktail of medication, all in all 600 calories. I feel weak, I still drink, years when I was sectioned, I couldn’t drink then. Now I can drink, I am still down and its not easy. Its a big effort. My foot is swollen, I have pins and needles. Now they are telling me I have to wait for 4 days to see a doctor. I cant walk, I don’t know what they are waiting for.

There is no duty of care in the detention system, really really not good. For someone like me that they cannot deport, why am I still here? Why do they play that game that they give me a monthly report, its some kind of game, I don’t know. Absolutely out of order. If you got a bail hearing coming up, even if they know they cant put you on a plane, they give you tickets.

My ex-husband said he knows I am being deported next week. He is waiting for me. He is planning to kill me.

I am in immigration detention. I have been in Yarls Wood, the women’s detention centre since September. I claimed asylum which was refused because of my sexuality. I am a lesbian which is not ok in Nigeria . I appealed, which was also refused. My lawyer has put in a second appeal to the Home office, and I am waiting. I have heard nothing back from them. My sister, who lives in London went to my MP’s office. My MP has called the Home Office but they ignored her. My lawyer is working to help me in my situation. But I have still heard nothing from the Home Office, instead they have given me a deportation ticket for next week.

Last week my friend called from Nigeria, she is looking after my 4 children in Nigeria. My ex husband called her , he is trying to take my children away from her. She has been forced to leave their home with my children. My ex-husband said he knows I am being deported next week. He is waiting for me. He is planning to kill me.

I have been in uk for 6 years. I had to leave Nigeria because I was scared of my husband. I was forced to marry him in an arranged marriage. My husband is trying to kill me, he has reported to the police that I am coming. They are all waiting for me. My lawyer has given me a letter to show to the guards at the airport. It says- I still have case with Home Office, and that my husband will kill me if I am deported.

I don’t want to go on that plane. I can’t go.

I have been living a miserable life since I was born, because I have to hide my sexuality. I cannot be free. I thought in UK I would be able to be lesbian and live free. But now they are trying to deport me to a country where I will not be safe because of my sexuality.

Since I have been in detention two of my children cannot go to school. Because I cannot work and send them, money. I send my children to school, without my husband helping. He doesn’t give them any money. If he kills me- who will I look after my children? They rely on me.

They should give me and my children a life. They should spare my life because of my children. I am begging.

He was distressed, he was shouting they come to kidnap me , they come to kidnap me

Last night my friend Darren C. phoned me and he left his phone on and he was shouting that they were coming to get him. He was shouting that they were here to kidnap him, he was shouting shouting, I was listening, and shouting shouting shouting. He was distressed, he was shouting they come to kidnap me , they come to kidnap me. And then after that we were hearing a lot of noise they were banging the door, a lot of guys shouted shouted. And then after that, he was saying, I have got nothing, why are you coming for me, a lot of shouting. And then he hung up the phone. That was all I heard, the shouting.

This morning when I woke up, what happened about 7 o’ clock this morning, the riot squat came, I heard that his left arm was broken. I heard that he came down peacefully, but I also heard that his left arm was broken. He is in solitary confinement at the moment, so we don’t know what happened. From 9 pm to 7 am in the morning we were locked in . They came about 10 pm to take him away, the riot squat. I think this his when they broke his arm. I am concerned that his arm is broken. At midnight there was a lot of shouting and banging, a lot of banging . Everybody could hear him shouting and then they started banging the door. It was disruptive.

Everybody is sad and in a low mood today you know. It could happen to anyone of us. It was really horrible. I have been in this detention months for 23 months, I volunteer to go back but until now they haven said anything, why they are still keeping us. I am ready to go home, I don’t know why they are detaining me. I am just waiting for 3 months, I have applied and waiting. It is draining , I want to go back, they still haven’t removed me, next months I will be here for 2 years. Things like last night happen before. You know what happens they are locking us up right now (5pm), so I need to go.

On Christmas Eve they tried to send me back to Baghdad. When they tried to send me back, they put me on the plane, they twisted my arms, put handcuffs into my wrists, nearly breaking it. They said this is our job.

I have been in the uk since 2002. I came from Iraq, I was injured and I was beaten nearly to death.  In 2001 I went to Germany, but I was refused asylum. I came to the UK because I was worried Germany would send me back to Iraq. In 2006 I met my now ex-girlfriend. We were together until 2013. She had said to apply for a visa with her, so I applied in 2009. I got a visa in 2013. But sadly, we are no longer together. Immigration said to me, because I applied for visa through her but we break up I have to back to Iraq. I am not coming here for visa, I am not coming for this reasons, I came here for my life. I apply for asylum but because I am not wth her they give me refuse. I applied again, I got refused agin.

In 2015, ISIS start killing people for no reason. I had a friend who said ‘why not come to church?’ I changed my religion, I became christian. People are not happy with me because of this, they speak bad about me. After that, the Church baptise me, we did that, then they put my picture on facebook. Then everyone knows I am Christian, everyone knows my situation. Most people don’t want to talk with me anymore, they say to me I shame myself by changing my religion.

2016, immigration come to my house and arrest me, because I have family life visa, which has run out. But its not about that I came here to apply for asylum. They said “we don’t believe you”, they said they don’t believe I change my religion. I said “how do you know what is in my heart?”. They said I don’t have enough evidence. what evidence? My religion is in my heart, how do they know?

Last year, on Christmas Eve they tried to send me back to Baghdad. When they tried to send me back, they put me on the plane with, they twisted my arms, put handcuffs into my wrists, nearly breaking it. They said this is our job. I am human why you do this- they said we have an order.

In Baghdad there is sectarian violence, between tribes and religions. They say it is safe for Christians but its not safe, there used to be 1 1/2 million Christian, now there is less than 500,000- where have they gone? They have been displaced, they have been be-headed. Immigration said there is Christian community in Baghdad but I was born into muslim, not into christian religion- this is different. This is different. In Sharia law you cannot change religion. Now immigration say Baghdad is safe.

I was detained early November. Now I am detained about 70 days. First time I apply for bail, they give me a ticket, therefore I can’t get bail. The judge doesn’t listen to my situation. Again I applied for bail and they give me another ticket. This is not on, what they do to people in here. Some people have been here 5,6,9 months. If my country was safe I would never be here. I love my country but they have been destroying it, the UK and America have been destroying it. We suffer like Syria.

I have never been to prison, I have never committed any crime, I have never committed any offences. I understand if I do something wrong, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I just find out my brother has been kidnapped in Iraq, he is journalist working for TV. I don’t know who has kidnapped him. I just want to get out and find out what has happened to him. It is very hard. I never been to prison but I am here now.

Yesterday I wanted to do suicide but they didn’t let me.

I want to make sure I am not going on that plane. These charter flights are modern slavery.

I was detained 9th august last year and taken to the detention centre in Dorset. I claimed asylum in Dorset on 15th august. Before claiming asylum, they said an immigration officer would come within 48hours. But within 120hours still no officer came. When I was seen by an immigration officer, I complained that I had waited but nothing happened about the complaint.

I wrote 6 temporary admission letters, after claiming asylum, they were all ignored.

Early September I was transferred to Harmondsworth. When I came to Harmondsworth I came to welfare surgery to complain about the 120hour delay before being seen by an immigration officer and hearing nothing back about temporary admission and still nothing was done.

When I got to Harmondsworth I was treated like a prisoner, they locked me in the room after 8pm everyone is locked in. My liberty has not been respected. My human rights have not been respected. I spent 3 days in induction, before an officer transferred me to the ‘vulnerable adult’ section. I the ‘vulnerable adult’ section they don’t lock the door and you have just one room mate.

I ask the guards can you help me to call caseworker or immigration they do not support me, they don’t really care. When you go to complain they just ignore you. The healthcare department is totally s**t. The food is tasteless, rice and chicken, potato every week, the chips are cold, the food is totally outrageous, totally s**t, tastless, doesn’t taste of anything. When I book an appointment to get clothes for the gym, they said they couldn’t help, they said I had to wear my jeans! Do they want me to be naked?!

That was some months ago.

I went to the asylum appointment. They put me on fast track- I’m not meant to be on fast track. It is meant to be finished but they are still doing it in secret! They decided my case in 1 week. On 11th September I went for the induction and on the 12th I went for the screening, 2 weeks after I went for the big interview. They said the decision would be made in one week. How can 1 week be enough time to get evidence? I need to get evidence from Nigeria, speak to my friends, to the doctors. Its not enough time.

I went to the healthcare on mid December. I went for my Rule 35 report. The doctor gave me the Rule 35 report saying I am an ‘adult at risk’ and not meant to be detained. I have scars from torture. The doctor said they are satisfied I am victim of torture. I sent the report to immigration, 3 days later immigration called me, they have assessed the rule 35 report. They agree I am a victim of torture but they still want to detain me. I quoted their policy to them but they said they “don’t know”. Now I have been detained for 4 months.

I went for bail, with my 2 sureties. The judge mentioned about my case- this is not meant to be in the bail hearing, it is meant to be just am I a risk to the public, do I have a certain address and sureties. The judge said “I’m refusing bail because you didn’t claim asylum on time”. The judge is not meant to mention about this. He refused the bail. I applied again for Temporary Admission in mid December, they ignored it.

At the moment, I have got my new evidence from Nigeria and am making a fresh claim. I have a letter from medical justice supporting my fresh claim but I am waiting for the doctor. But I have a ticket for the charter Flight on Tuesday I don’t know if they are going to cancel my ticket? They need to defer the ticket, they need to cancel it, but I don’t know what the home office is doing?? I want to make sure I am not going on that plane. These charter flights are modern slavery.

They are not helping at all. They are not following the rules. They are treating people like they are animals. No human rights. They didn’t respect anything. They are not helping anybody.

This is the life in Yarl’s Wood

In August I was taken back to Yarl’s Wood when I went to report. Why they take me back I don’t know. My passport was due to expire in a week and I saw a ticket for a few days time because they were trying to rush me through. I’ve been living in this country for 20 years. I have 8 grandchildren and 4 children in this country. 

Just after I finished visiting with my son they said they come to take me to isolation. I told them i am not going. They called security. Four big men came and manhandled me and put cuffs on me and slammed me on the floor. I am 52 years old, I had a heart attack last year, I have many sicknesses. I am a victim of torture. All this reminds me and brings back the memories of torture. One of the big men put his foot or his his big hand on my head to keep it down. They took me to Kingfisher which is the isolation. They throw me on the floor there, the floor is really dirty. 

I was so traumatised I wanted to die. I took some tablets. On the way airport i told the officers I had taken tablets and took me to hospital and had to flush my stomach. That flight was canceled because they tried to rush it through. So they took me back to Yarl’s Wood.

Whenever I see the guards I am afraid. I lock my room now. I never used to do that. I run away when i see the guards. 

This is the life in Yarl’s Wood.

On Saturday they locked us all up. We just wanted to see the people who were here for us and we couldn’t. All the women were really upset. We didn’t know this could happen in a country where I am supposed to be safe. You expect this to happen in Africa but not in Britain. So we are not eating, but we are weak.

This is like Guantanamo Bay. Really.

We are walking around like we are mad. We are not like this.

The guards don’t respect the women at all. Not the way they treat us here. 

We are not talking to them. We are just staying in our rooms or move away when they try talk to us.

They are still trying to force people on the planes.

So the way I’m going to say it, it’s going to be like a Tarrentino film, I’m going to say the end then the beginning.

They are still trying to force people on the planes. They’re still hurting people. They cracked my knee. I’m in crutches. If you don’t want to fly you will be forced. They’ve hurt my wrist as well. I want to tell people that human rights aren’t helping no one. If anything human rights are helping immigration. They didn’t stop it.

I’ve been locked up 5 or 6 months. They sent me a ticket for earlier this month. They sent it on a Friday. I had to try contact my solicitors over the weekend. I’m trying to follow it up on Monday and then on Wednesday I’m on the plane. I’m suffering from schizophrenia and psychotic depression. I’ve been suicidal. I’ve not been very well. It’s been horrible really and I wouldn’t want anyone to go through this. The escorts they act like they’re normal but they’re there to hurt you. They are just there to get you out the country.

I thought everything was going to be all right. I was quite quiet in heathrow. But I resisted being put on the plane and they started hurting me. I wouldn’t be surprised if people had died before. I would believe it-  I saw it. That mad power that they have. I know what it’s all about.

England needs to stop doing this to people. It’s horrible. They should stop it all together. It’s ruining a lot of things, people’s families lives.