…they don’t like all kinds of things, government is not allowing. So they just abused me, kicked me. I tried to escape from them, that’s why I am here.

I came from Nigeria in 2010, the problem is, I got problem with my ex-wife. During that time I met a white guy ,R, he came to Nigeria. We met and along that, he liked me, he looked after me, that’s why I go with him. During that problem I don’t know where is my wife and my kids, its a long situation. You know in Nigeria, they don’t like all kinds of things, government is not allowing. So when people get out with white people, so they just abused me, kicked me. I tried to escape from them, that’s why I am here.

I met another people here, because of fear from my country I was here you know, I tell them about my story, they know what I am up to. He said don’t worry I will take care of you in this country, but then he treat me badly and abused me. Its a long story. I then left his house, to be honest I slept outside in the train station for 2 weeks before I get another place to stay. It makes me sad when I remember it. In detention here, a lot of people here different different story, what I know some people don’t like me now, I cant go back to my country. So I have to find ways to make myself, what I try to do, people that I met here just try to put me through, that’s why I am in detention here, because someone gave me the document to work, and then they caught me when I was working. I did not want to steal anything, I just wanted to feed myself and make my life comfortable for me. I just used it to find something to feed myself, how am I supposed to think about it. Because I am not a scrounger, I used this country to save my life. I am not here to disrespect this country or disobey the law. Just before I lack in education, I didn’t know what is right, what is not right. Until I get this problem, I met different people.

We share what happened to us here in detention, people can say okay I am a drug dealer, I did this and that. So if I said them about my story they say I am not supposed to be here and in like that. All I know here different people that are, they are not supposed to be here.

I applied asylum this year and another friend and they approached me with asylum, my application made in January this year , I applied for bail last week it was rejected.

My fear is if I have to go back, they know about my relationship with me and R that’s why I had to come here, this kind of thing they don’t allow it in my country, people no allow it, and government is not allow it, if they catch someone like that they will be killed and they will be put in prison , and secondly like my life, when I remember, that memory for my, I lost my family, my wife, I didn’t see them, I don’t know where they are , like since 2009 my life is too sad, I care about my life and I just do it on my own. I don’t know why this thing happened to me.

He was distressed, he was shouting they come to kidnap me , they come to kidnap me

Last night my friend Darren C. phoned me and he left his phone on and he was shouting that they were coming to get him. He was shouting that they were here to kidnap him, he was shouting shouting, I was listening, and shouting shouting shouting. He was distressed, he was shouting they come to kidnap me , they come to kidnap me. And then after that we were hearing a lot of noise they were banging the door, a lot of guys shouted shouted. And then after that, he was saying, I have got nothing, why are you coming for me, a lot of shouting. And then he hung up the phone. That was all I heard, the shouting.

This morning when I woke up, what happened about 7 o’ clock this morning, the riot squat came, I heard that his left arm was broken. I heard that he came down peacefully, but I also heard that his left arm was broken. He is in solitary confinement at the moment, so we don’t know what happened. From 9 pm to 7 am in the morning we were locked in . They came about 10 pm to take him away, the riot squat. I think this his when they broke his arm. I am concerned that his arm is broken. At midnight there was a lot of shouting and banging, a lot of banging . Everybody could hear him shouting and then they started banging the door. It was disruptive.

Everybody is sad and in a low mood today you know. It could happen to anyone of us. It was really horrible. I have been in this detention months for 23 months, I volunteer to go back but until now they haven said anything, why they are still keeping us. I am ready to go home, I don’t know why they are detaining me. I am just waiting for 3 months, I have applied and waiting. It is draining , I want to go back, they still haven’t removed me, next months I will be here for 2 years. Things like last night happen before. You know what happens they are locking us up right now (5pm), so I need to go.

They are detaining people for as long as they want, which is totally illegal and disproportionate

I am a victim of torture and the Home Office says a victim of torture should never be detained, if it confirmed by the medical practitioner in detention. I am a level 3 indicator rest, which makes me too vulnerable to be in detention. And right now, I have a case pending, and I am preparing for my bail at the moment. And I hope it will be a positive outcome as soon as possible. I think the Home Office is really not following their policy at all, in the sense that they are going to make up a policy and they are not following it. Which is affecting a lot of people in detention centre, vulnerable people in detention. They are detaining people for as long as they want, which is totally illegal and disproportionate.

Now my case is on judicial review in the high court for unlawful detention, they already filed the judicial review. Because I have been detained for more than 6 months and I am waiting for the positive outcome. I am suing the home office. Yet they are not releasing me. So I recently arranged to see doctor here in the centre. And I explained to him about my mental state, my mental heath. And I explained everything to him, low mood, agitation, loss of weight, lack of concentration and so on. He told me that he is going to forward the message to the HO, so they can review my case, that was last Thursday, 3 days ago. He told me he will forward the message, because I am totally unfit for detention .

Even people, some of my friends, they got a report from the doctor in December and they got release. I don’t what criteria they use to release people under rule 35. Some friends got released under that rule , but I didn’t, so don’t know. Some of them did commit a crime, they were on temporary admission and they didn’t comply. But for me I never committed any crime in the UK and I complied when I got temporary admission before I got detained. I was on temporary admission before I was in detention, I reported regularly in lunar house every two weeks. I was always complying with that. But now I have been in detention for more than 6 months, and I am a vulnerable who can be harmed through detention. The horrible part of it is when I call the Home Office, and ask for my caseworker they say I don’t have a caseworker. So anyone can open my file and write something about me. I called a couple of time, to ask for my caseworker. I have been seeing different people, the next month I see another case worker.

The system is just totally shit man. My case is better than other peoples who committed crimes and didn’t comply to the temporary admission conditions and then they are just in detention for 2 or 3 months. I have two cases pending and it is going take a lot of time, no one knows how long its going to take. So I think they should release me while I am waiting. Everyone needs their liberty.

Instead of bringing me to the hospital, they are making excuses. They don’t bring me to the hospital to see the specialists

Its really hard, because its like 4 months I am here and I feel like more than 4 years. My life, I have lot of personal problems, I have been here and I cannot get any treatments. Even the doctor has said to me it is about my mind. It is hard to get treatment, its lot of people every day people are coming. You have to share the room with people. Its very complicated because I have health problems, I have ear infections for years and years and many other problems.

When I was outside it was not a big things, first thing when I was outside I was going to the doctor, they made me a surgery. I was supposed to go to a surgery in October, I got paperwork about that, I provided everything to the healthcare in the detention centre. They cancelled it, they said its too hard to take me out from here. They said they arrange another appointment.

The food is really bad, I cant eat everything , the toilets are really dirty. It is really hard and I am getting lost and lost. It has been 4 months since they cancelled. What happened it is really not fair. You know the doctor gave me 4 different kinds of antibiotics, very powerful. Instead of bringing me to the hospital, they are making excuses. They don’t bring me to the hospital to see the specialists.

I said to the doctor, I showed it to the doctor outside, 4 different antibiotics in 2 weeks. He said this can only be done through an operation. I may loose my hearing. Something comes out of my ear, I have to wash my sheets every second day. Its very embarrassing. They try to solve it with tablets. He said he will refer me to the specialist. I am just going down with my mental problems, I am seeing the psychologist every week. Even the psychologist said it will not end very soon. I say just release me , it will be a quick fix. I haven’t talked to my parents for 2 months, I haven’t talked to my family for 2 months. I can’t find them anymore. I am scared.

They treat us like animals, what do we have? In the end of the day we are losers, I am happy that I still survive. I don’t know when I am going to go out, its like hell over here. I will definitely help everybody who is in the detention centre when I get out. I know how hard it is for people here, waiting in the queue for half an hour to get two paracetamol. I got flu, I got cold, I got cancer, I got pain in my leg, they just give you paracetamol. It is really hard for me, I feel like my future is getting spoiled. I thought I will live 100 years, but I don’t see my future from here. I got loads of problems back home, I am scared all of the time, am I going to be tortured, am I going be dead. I am not saying, just accept my case straight away. I know it takes time to go through my case, but I am spoiling every second every minute , but just release me, I will not run away, I am fearing my life, I will not go back home.

I have friends outside, it is a waste of time in here. Everything is not gonna be solved, my skin is going weird, one of the nurses said it is because of the water here. What can I do? Should I stop taking shower? I go every two weeks to the doctor, I say tell the home office. So many people say so many different kind of things. But at the end of the day I have to my body with that waters. One of my friends, he sent him back now, he had the same problem. After taking shower, he had red marks on his body. Mine is kind of, like a rash , in the morning when I wake up, it really hurts. I have been getting them on my hand, on my feet. I heard lots of people saying here, you can get a very itchy body, very dry body. You just press the button for the shower and the water comes. You have no choice. I had a problem under my foot and I cant wear shoes. At the end of the day I am in big problems. It is not fair. The officer just try to let go everything and make excuses. And we just wait for weeks and months and it may go on for years. I just pray for God that I don’t live for long, things are getting worse over here. Otherwise I should go mental. I just think its better to go mental, then they would release me. It is very complicated. For my appeal hearing I tried to adjourn it until I am fit enough until I can concentrate properly, its my life, you know. But they refused, I couldn’t really concentrate because of the pain. It was really bad the hearing. It is not really fair, the people over here they know what needs to be done. Before my hearing, my solicitor sent a letter to the health care over here in the centre and made a request to write a letter to say that I am not fit enough to go to the hearing. After the appeal hearing they health care replied and said I am not fit enough. But it was too late, they are playing with my life.

This is the life in Yarl’s Wood

In August I was taken back to Yarl’s Wood when I went to report. Why they take me back I don’t know. My passport was due to expire in a week and I saw a ticket for a few days time because they were trying to rush me through. I’ve been living in this country for 20 years. I have 8 grandchildren and 4 children in this country. 

Just after I finished visiting with my son they said they come to take me to isolation. I told them i am not going. They called security. Four big men came and manhandled me and put cuffs on me and slammed me on the floor. I am 52 years old, I had a heart attack last year, I have many sicknesses. I am a victim of torture. All this reminds me and brings back the memories of torture. One of the big men put his foot or his his big hand on my head to keep it down. They took me to Kingfisher which is the isolation. They throw me on the floor there, the floor is really dirty. 

I was so traumatised I wanted to die. I took some tablets. On the way airport i told the officers I had taken tablets and took me to hospital and had to flush my stomach. That flight was canceled because they tried to rush it through. So they took me back to Yarl’s Wood.

Whenever I see the guards I am afraid. I lock my room now. I never used to do that. I run away when i see the guards. 

This is the life in Yarl’s Wood.

On Saturday they locked us all up. We just wanted to see the people who were here for us and we couldn’t. All the women were really upset. We didn’t know this could happen in a country where I am supposed to be safe. You expect this to happen in Africa but not in Britain. So we are not eating, but we are weak.

This is like Guantanamo Bay. Really.

We are walking around like we are mad. We are not like this.

The guards don’t respect the women at all. Not the way they treat us here. 

We are not talking to them. We are just staying in our rooms or move away when they try talk to us.