If they take me back to Ghana I will kill myself.

I came to this country in 1999, to be with my brother and my sister. I have a wife here. I have been in this country for almost 18 years.In 2012 I applied as an over-stayer. The Home Office didn’t respond. Nothing. I waited. I checked with my solicitor and they still have no response from the Home Office. I reported my situation to my MP in Peckham, London, they wrote the Home Office for me. They said they had spoken to the Home Office, but still I heard nothing back from them. I waited another 2 months and went again to my MP. Again they wrote to them. Still I heard nothing, In 2015, 3 years later, the Home Office wrote to me saying I had been refused. Why? I have been here long time, I have family here.

After I was refused the home Office told me to report at the immigration centre every 2 weeks. I did this. One day I didn’t go to report, because my sister had passed away in Birmingham. I wrote to them to tell them I would miss one week. The Home Office was not OK with this. They called me and told me to go to the immigration centre in Croydon. I went to Croydon and they interviewed me for a long time. After the interview they gave me a ticket to go back to Ghana for THAT night, at 10pm. I went with them to the airport, though I had no money and non of my things with me. The officer offered my £20 to return to Ghana with- are they insulting me?! I cannot return to a place I haven’t been for 15 years with £20. My ticket for the flight was cancelled. But I was not released, instead they took my to the detention centre.

The way they are treating us is in the detention centre is very, very bad. The toilets haven’t been cleaned for over a week- they are disgusting. The food is very bad. They know the food is not good. Last night they just gave me bread and rice, no sauce, nothing. When you go to the healthcare here- you have to queue for over 1 hour, just for painkillers.

On Wednesday they give me another ticket to Ghana. Now they have given me a ticket for the charter flight next week.

What do the they expect me to do? They are trying to deport me when I don’t have one penny in my pocket. How can I leave me wife in this country? How can I leave my brother and his children in this country? My family and my life is here in the UK. If they take me back to Ghana I will kill myself.

I have been in this country for almost 18 years. I have applied for asylum because I am not safe to go back there. The Home Office know this, I have given them all of my evidence. I have no criminal record, no contact with the police. Just the Home Office making problems. The Home Office don’t respect me. They don’t listen to me. They don’t listen to my wife. It is not OK to treat people like this.

The Home Office don’t follow the laws of this country. We all follow the law, but they don’t. It is not fair.

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The Home Office say I cannot stay here with my parents anymore.

Both of my parents are in the UK, they are British. I have been here, with them, for over 5 years. But the Home Office wants to send me back to Nigeria. The Home Office says I am over age, I am now 21 years old. The Home Office say I cannot stay here with my parents anymore. My brothers are here. I am in fear to go back to Nigeria, there is fighting over land. They killed my brother. They killed my grandfather. I came to England for protection, I seek asylum here. I believe the UK could help me

I give the Home Office all of my evidence. The Home Office know about everything. But, they want to deport me back to place where I don’t have anybody. Another charter flight is coming- they want to put me on it. I am scared. I won’t be able to survive. I don’t have any family there. I have no body there. Is this fair?

Many people are deported to Nigeria, then they have committed suicide. They have died after being deported. They have to become criminal because they have nothing there. It is ruining peoples lives. They have nothing there, they have no-where to live.

This is injustice. The UK government must stop this.

I have been detained for over 8 months. In detention you see disabled people. I have notes from the doctor because I am pissing blood, but here is no medical attention in the detention centre. People are dying here. I don’t understand I did not think UK is like this.

Nobody hear our cry. We are crying. Please we need to be rescued. Please can anybody helps us?

On Christmas Eve they tried to send me back to Baghdad. When they tried to send me back, they put me on the plane, they twisted my arms, put handcuffs into my wrists, nearly breaking it. They said this is our job.

I have been in the uk since 2002. I came from Iraq, I was injured and I was beaten nearly to death.  In 2001 I went to Germany, but I was refused asylum. I came to the UK because I was worried Germany would send me back to Iraq. In 2006 I met my now ex-girlfriend. We were together until 2013. She had said to apply for a visa with her, so I applied in 2009. I got a visa in 2013. But sadly, we are no longer together. Immigration said to me, because I applied for visa through her but we break up I have to back to Iraq. I am not coming here for visa, I am not coming for this reasons, I came here for my life. I apply for asylum but because I am not wth her they give me refuse. I applied again, I got refused agin.

In 2015, ISIS start killing people for no reason. I had a friend who said ‘why not come to church?’ I changed my religion, I became christian. People are not happy with me because of this, they speak bad about me. After that, the Church baptise me, we did that, then they put my picture on facebook. Then everyone knows I am Christian, everyone knows my situation. Most people don’t want to talk with me anymore, they say to me I shame myself by changing my religion.

2016, immigration come to my house and arrest me, because I have family life visa, which has run out. But its not about that I came here to apply for asylum. They said “we don’t believe you”, they said they don’t believe I change my religion. I said “how do you know what is in my heart?”. They said I don’t have enough evidence. what evidence? My religion is in my heart, how do they know?

Last year, on Christmas Eve they tried to send me back to Baghdad. When they tried to send me back, they put me on the plane with, they twisted my arms, put handcuffs into my wrists, nearly breaking it. They said this is our job. I am human why you do this- they said we have an order.

In Baghdad there is sectarian violence, between tribes and religions. They say it is safe for Christians but its not safe, there used to be 1 1/2 million Christian, now there is less than 500,000- where have they gone? They have been displaced, they have been be-headed. Immigration said there is Christian community in Baghdad but I was born into muslim, not into christian religion- this is different. This is different. In Sharia law you cannot change religion. Now immigration say Baghdad is safe.

I was detained early November. Now I am detained about 70 days. First time I apply for bail, they give me a ticket, therefore I can’t get bail. The judge doesn’t listen to my situation. Again I applied for bail and they give me another ticket. This is not on, what they do to people in here. Some people have been here 5,6,9 months. If my country was safe I would never be here. I love my country but they have been destroying it, the UK and America have been destroying it. We suffer like Syria.

I have never been to prison, I have never committed any crime, I have never committed any offences. I understand if I do something wrong, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I just find out my brother has been kidnapped in Iraq, he is journalist working for TV. I don’t know who has kidnapped him. I just want to get out and find out what has happened to him. It is very hard. I never been to prison but I am here now.

Yesterday I wanted to do suicide but they didn’t let me.

The detainees, we saved his life.

See last week he smashed one of the classrooms, the person who tried to kill himself today. In the ESOL class he smashed the class up last week. 

You know the funny thing is there should always be officers here – there should always be an officer at the desk on the first floor, and on the ground floor where we have breakfast. There should be someone there too. If they were in their posts they would have seen the man, they would have seen him hanging there. 

They don’t even say thank you. The detainees, we saved his life. The officers, they show no remorse. 

The manager of activities just saw the camera footage and she was surprised he didn’t break his neck. Thats when she said thank you – you’ve done a good job. She said he was the same person that smashed up the classroom last week.

None of them care what happened. They haven’t asked us any questions about it. No questions asked.

I hope people find out what is going on in here you know. The tax payers need to know what is happening in these detention centres. It is so bad.

This man he jumped from the second floor trying to hang himself

Today was crazy. Really crazy you know. This man he jumped from the second floor trying to hang himself. It was inside the building in the landing. There were no officers on the scene. 

This is what happened. I went inside my room to brush my teeth and when I came out he had put the sheet around the metal bed frame and around his neck, and jumped. We pressed the alarm bell three times but nothing happened. They didn’t come for like 20 minutes half an hour. Only one officer ran the others walked like it was normal and they were smiling. They were smiling and they joked about it after. 

The bell didn’t go off. The bell should be there for anyone to press if they need it but it didn’t go off. This guy would be dead if it wasn’t for the detainees. The staff weren’t even there. When the police came they said they didn’t need to talk to us, to ask us questions but we were the only ones around there – the officers weren’t there. 

You see the guy who did that he was walking around this morning and he was acting strange. If the staff saw him they would know something was wrong but they were in their office having cups of tea. They should be walking around every morning seeing how everyone is but they are always in the office having tea. 

We have cameras in here. He had bedding wrapped round his arm from 8 o’clock in the morning. If I saw someone walking with bedding first thing in the morning I would know something was wrong. The cameras are suppose to keep us safe so the officers can respond quickly. He walked passed many cameras. But they didn’t clock anything. I see him every day I knew something was wrong but I’ve never seen anything like this before. I didn’t know he would do that. I ran out straight away and pulled the bed sheet up but then i realised i was making it worse – I was helping him die so I let it go. I didn’t know what to do. Someone else came straight away and knew what to do, he must have seen this before. He lay on the ground and held his hand to hold him up. We tried to undo the knot but it was hard to do so other people were lifting up his feet from the bottom and from the top people were trying to undo the knot. He would be dead if it wasn’t for the other detainees.

He feels like he fails something but no one should feel like that. We should be looked after by the staff and the home office but you don’t get that in here. He didn’t say anything was wrong. I never saw him speak to anyone in this place. We have to keep ourselves occupied to cope with this place, but you have to do your own thing. 

This place is really horrible. They don’t treat you like a human being, they treat you like an animal, like a foreigner. I’ve been in two other detention centres but this is the worst. The hygiene, the food everything. It is just the way the place is. You can not trust the staff. You just can’t. To them its like ‘immigrants, immigrants’. In other removal centres you have a much better relationship with the staff. If you have a problem you can speak with them but here you can’t. You can only talk to your friends but your friends have their own problems you know. The staff they do they get trained to deal with stuff in here, but they don’t do anything. You never see the staff, the sit at their desks all day having cups of teas. You ask for something and it takes a week to get done. You can’t trust people like that. 

They don’t care. If one person dies its a number, they just put a number down. When people get deported they are happy and say ‘one person down, one less person to stress about’. 

The police just stood in the place where the guy tried to commit suicide for 20 minutes. They should check the cameras, they should take the statements. They didn’t take any of our statements. They should take statements from the people that saw what happened to see what happened. But they said they didn’t need to. Then they left.

The fire alarm bell doesn’t work. The question everyone should be asking is why that wasn’t working. Everywhere you go the fire alarm should be working. If there was a fire what would you do. If the officers didn’t hear all the screaming they wouldn’t have come. Only once I have heard it working. Lets say a fire happened, or a riot. They are over the other side having cups of tea and laughing. In prison the officers walk around and check. This place is the worst place I have ever been. They feed you when you are supposed to be fed and that is it. You do your own life. You have to cope. 

They’ve taken him off to hospital. I don’t know where. We won’t hear anything about the man. Depends who is in the same unit but the staff won’t tell us. We need to get answers, we all saw it. ‘We can’t tell you, its confidential’ they say. But we need to know he is OK so we feel OK. The only way we find out is through the other detainees. ‘He is fine, he is doing good, don’t worry…’ thats all we want to know.