I’m pregnant and I’ve been in detention for almost 2 months. I’m not supposed to be detained for this long but I’ve been here for a long time now.

My appeal was allowed, it was successful at first and the Home Office appealed. Then I got refused. I appealed and when I went to report I was detained. I was considered appeal rights exhausted even though my appeal was still on. When I was detained, I told them I was pregnant. They said I could still fly up to 9 months which is not the law – I haven’t seen it any where.

I got given a ticket about 2 weeks ago for this Saturday. I didn’t go on Saturday – I was told by the solicitor it was cancelled I the afternoon. But they still came for me in the morning saying I had to go to reception. I told them I wasn’t going. We didn’t know whether they would try to use force. I was so stressed at that point so I didn’t know what to do. They didn’t come for me in the end.

I don’t know what is going to happen now – I put in for an asylum claim and they’ve said the Home Office will be in touch. I’m still waiting in Yarl’s Wood.

Since I’ve been in this place – yes I’ve had medical checks – but I’ve not been properly looked after. I got pregnancy vitimins only after a month. I’m suffering from depression and since I’ve been here they’ve stopped my medication without telling me why. When I booked in I told them I was on this medication but they didn’t give it to me and didn’t check if I needed it. They stopped it without informing me about it.

The food is not appropriate for my condition – it’s really poor in nutrients. I have both sickness and cravings but I can’t get what I want. It’s rice and potatoes and bread everyday. I just try to do what I can but it’s really poor. Even the medical staff will agree with me. They say they hope I’ll be out soon so they know themselves its wrong but they’re not doing anything about it.

This is my first child – on the outside, I was going to get ante-natal classes to prepare myself for my first child. I asked them for books and readings. It’s been over a month now and they haven’t got back to me. It just seems like it doesn’t matter. It feels like I’m already failing as a mum even though the baby hasn’t come yet. What if the baby gets here and I’m not ready. Not just physically but mentally prepared. It’s really frustrating.

They shouldn’t detain pregnant women. They shouldn’t detain anyone at all. I won’t just talk for myself because I’m pregnant. It’s unfair for anyone. This is mental torture, it’s physical as well. It’s like you’re stuck in someplace and people are asking for things you can’t do – evidence, for example. If you’re on your own in here you can’t get it. You come in when you’re healthy but it’s not good for you. I will get out of here and I’ll be more mentally ill than I was before. I’ve not had a good day since I’ve been in here. Even when you’re trying to cope, to settle yourself. There’s always something they will do to remind you that you’re not free. That you’re controlled by somebody.