Yesterday we went to another unit

Yesterday we went to another unit of to get sanitary towels from a woman officer. When we came back the male officer said “what is in your pocket” and he said he needed to search us and that we had stolen the sanitary towels and he was angry. But they are free so we didn’t understand why he was saying this. I went to my room, I was so stressed out. Why is it his business if we have period or not have period? If we need the sanitary towels we will have them. It’s not normal to have to show him. Where is our human rights?

We are stressed out about everything. This was a big deal – accusing us of stealing the sanitary towels in front of all the residents. We felt stressed and we self harmed – it was embarrassing. They said they would put us in Kingfisher which is the block. Another said “where is your dog friend?” – maybe because she is small, I don’t know. In front of everyone they said we had to put the sanitary towels back. Because we were upset, he said never come to me if you need help. He took my cross from my room and won’t give it back. They say that I can harm with the cross. In my religion I am orthodox so I don’t like when people touch the cross, it gives negative energy.


I was not like this before.

I produced a letter for Luna House that I got depression- and they referred me to counselling, and then they didn’t give it back to me- it’s there in the Home Office. I have been detained now I am on fast-track. I have a partner-she is pregnant. I was suffering from stress and everything and I can not properly sleep. You know, lot’s of problems are here. I tried to find the GP nine times, ten times, and they gave me the doctor- again yesterday I had the nurse. And I said I am sweating at night-time, and the way she talked to me was very rude. She told me I am making stories- she said I am going to put you in lock up, and you cannot go outside. I am depressed and I have a lot of problems going around my head. And she told me everyting- I will lock up you…and I have problems- I cannot work in Sri Lanka. I came to here as children. I had a relationship with a member of parliament, because of that issue I can’t return. They didn’t treat me properly.

I want to get my NHS number- it is inside my luggage; they took everything when I came here. When I came here I tried to get all my important documents and it’s been two weekends. And they haven’t give me. I come in the evening and they said come in the morning; I come in the morning and they said come in the evening. They treat us like foreign dogs- they are not caring about us. How can we spend the proper time for our applications? My English is not very good. Yesterday- the way she told me I was very upset. I was hunger-striking, I was protesting. I got TB in 2012- I had medication from 1 year and I have side-effects. I have diabetes and now I have depression. I hate this building. Two times they refused me- they want me to bring a GP letter, and I take a GP letter, and I say I have depression and they put me here. My partner is upset because I am here. She is pregnant and nobody is supporting for her. She is coming tomorrow. I am very scared- you can’t believe that your baby, or something like that…I can’t understand…I get very upset I feel very upset mentally. Couselling. The word counselling…when I was coming here, I was not like this. I am like a crazy person. I can’t even think, everything, because of this illness.

If you put people here; people will get mad. My partner is outside in my house- and my baby is going to come in August. She is having abdominal pains, and she can’t do anything- she can’t give a bath to our babies, and the shower stopped working. My lawyer is also…today he didn’t call me. Not I am trying to get my NHS number. All this- everything is mad here. I was not like this before, I used to work as a support worker with people with learning difficulties in July. Now I can’t concentrate- now language, everything I am forgetting because of this. I am getting angry with the people very, very, very soon. I have got depression in here- I don’t know what is the law. I don’t know if I talk about these it is going to do anything.

Yesterday in the morning I went to wash my big sheet because I had been sweating. They said no washing powder in the morning. I have nail problems because I am biting my nails because of the stress. I tried to open my locker and I damaged my hands. I told the doctor I could not sleep and he just gave me a plaster. Another time I went to get a plaster and they made me wait for one hour. The officer came and said, come another ten or fifteen minutes later. I didn’t go back there again. Today I asked them to come and open my locker- they still didn’t come. And I had to find a steel fork to open my locker, and I took my stuff outside. I am getting angry with my partner very quickly.

I am losing my mind.


I refused to board

I refused to board because I did not get medical treatment for a serious complaint. A man and a woman guard took me to hospital where I had to undress for screening. I didn’t mind the woman guard being there but the man would not leave. I complained about lack of privacy to my solicitor in writing and tried to reach him by phone, but he has never responded.

We are living in constant fear not knowing what is going to happen even in the next few minutes! After the Channel 4 exposure – officers were still being rude, opening doors without knocking – one barged into my room while I was getting dressed- I challenged him but he claimed wasn’t looking and just stood at the door. It happened again recently with another officer – but he left when I screamed. Officers constantly demean us and make us feel worthless.

Many of us want Yarl’s Wood to be closed down

Many of us want Yarl’s Wood to be closed down because the conditions are appalling. I’m very ill and have very high blood pressure which healthcare know. I don’t know if it is the medications but I have pains all over my body and lumps are growing on my wrists. I got a chest infection and started spitting out blood but all they gave me was paracetomol. I am terrified of returning to my country. I left my husband because I am childless. He will kill me if he finds me.

Inside Yarl’s Wood

Healthcare inside Yarl’s Wood is non-existent. When I was detained I lost my periods for four months. When I went to health care they said it was due to stress and that I should not worry‼ I’m very angry that we’re treated like prisoners -even when we are very sick.

When we try to complain the guards often claim it’s too late and close the office. We were given out of date yogurt – a month past its expiry date. So we complained but they said “you’re prisoners and that is all the government is ready to give you”.

There is a 58 year old blind woman who has been in here four months. The guards have threatened won’t let us help her. They say “stop helping – if she wasn’t able to help herself the Home Office would not have sent her here.” Recently one of the disgusting guards taunted this woman by offering her a glass of water and moving it around and out of her reach. Her new roommate stood up and cussed him out telling him not do that ever again. Ever since this incident she has been taking care of her blind roommate. But now she’s been given a ticket for 31 March. We believe it is a punishment because she is the only one helping this woman. We respect and help older women no matter what the guards say or how brutal they want to be.

I went straight way to UK home office for claim asylum. But got 7 month prison.

I went straight way to UK home office for claim asylum. But got 7 month prison with humiliation and shame, and forced to thinking I am not normal

 (Because I am Gay)

I am write this my story to explain problems with me since last summer. When I went home office straight way and claimed asylum and faces till now. I am in detention last from 7 months.

I was born in 1990 in India. I am homosexual person. I claimed asylum about my sexuality (Gay) and my gay partner here. He is from Pakistan (Muslim). I went straight way to home office for claim asylum.

I am having been in a committed relationship with my partner nearly 2 years. It’s very difficult to find someone who you can trust in this day and age. We have grown together mentally and spiritually and have found the perfect soul mates each other. We are simply made for each other. My life is empty without him.

We are from two different religious. I am Sikh and my partner is Muslim. We never want to apart and want continue to grow our relationship and be with each other for as long as possible.

Our communities do not accept us. Gays in our religions are not accepted. The Authorities in our community do not accept us.

United Kingdom makes us feel safe and we feel we have human rights here and have no fear of being who we naturally are. My partner and I are settled here and he cannot move to India with me because he is Pakistani.

Traditional Indian attitudes towards homosexuals have not changed. My own family attitudes have not changed. My own father has disowned me. None of my immediate or extended family maintains a relationship with me. I am a Sikh, where men are being proud of being men. They do not accept gays at all. Having a child who is gay brings shame on to the whole family and gays treated like Lepers. My father is priest in the temple and he is accountable to many other people and he will never accept me. I had turban and hair before when I was in India. When I came here I cut it off.

My partner on working visa in the UK. He could never go back Pakistan as our sexuality is not accepted in Pakistan it is equally frowned upon in India and being two different religious makes it very difficult to sustain our religion. He already have a lot of issues if he want to travel to India with a Pakistani passport.

I claimed asylum last summer through UKLGIG UK LESBIEN GAY IMMIGRATION GROUP. I went home office straightway. My claim was refused after a month on the basis that I can relocate within India and live normally as a homosexual. No proper weight was given to that fact that we are in relationship and that if I goes back not only I would be subjected to harm but our relationship will come to an end.

Home office accepted me I am gay. But said you can go India and can relocate there. I gave to then so many proof of my sexuality am openly gay here, fears in India with gays, bad behavior with gays in India. And proof with my partner, supporting letter from my all gay friends and from organization. My all gay’s friends knows we are gay couple from long time and LGBT group also knows.

Even in detention centre I have so many problem about my sexuality. So many time I complain to officer’s manger detention service and also IMB. But couldn’t get any good response. I have also witness statement about harassment in detention centre.

I am in detention last from 7 months no anyone here to listen or understand me. Really this UK human right which they giving me. I constantly have suicidal thoughts when I think that they will send me back. I am constantly scared and don’t eat or sleep well in here. The longer I am here my mental state keeps deteriorating.

UK where is every person got a human right and live life free and easily according to own wish. Even here animal (Dog) got a right to live freely .so why I have not? Is this UK human right? What they doing with me. My mistake is that I came straightway to home office and gave them to my passport. And my fault is that I was born like this (Gay) and I was born in India. And I love with Pakistani out of border from my country.

Really home office realized me I am Gay. This is my mistake. Because they punish me like this. Maybe if was not gay I never came home office for asylum. I strongly believe that my relationship (article 8) has been continuously violated by keeping me in detention centre and separated to me from my partner.

I am not well educated either as I left my family at a very early age to avoid constant harassment. Having left home I have been a victim to child abuse in India. For you to send me back to India, I will mentally feel tortured. It will be like you throwing in a live volcano. I will not be able to live and will commit suicide.

I have been living in the Detention Centre for a while and have had transient friends. As a gay person I have not had any harassment when I was living outside of the Detention Centre. I have faced regular harassment in home country and was free of that in London; however the same fear has now set in me as it has begun within the Detention Centre. I now constantly feel unsettled and nervous throughout the day and have difficulty sleeping at night. I have also lost my appetite in the Detention Centre. I often cry at night in my bed as I feel very very low in side. I feel humiliated, tormented and constantly scared.

Article 8 of the ECHR states that: Right to respect private and family life 

  1. Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his correspondence
  1. There shall be no interference by a public authority with the exercise of this right except such as is in accordance with the law and is necessary in a democratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic well-being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.

I strongly believe that my article 8 has been continuously violated, but regardless I am being stopped from having a private life with my partner.

Unlawful Detention

I being in detention has an immense effect on my health and also my friends, most importantly my partner is continuously in stress and gets anxious very soon these days. My partner is getting depressed due to these conditions in which he is being forcefully stopped from having a private life and starting a family. He does not want to go to a counsellor as it will affect his career which has abundant prospects for him. I am still detained for no concrete reason. As it is suggested in the UKBA Enforcement and Guidance.

Even the ICIBI found that now it has become a norm to disregard evidence and consider detention regardless of the rights and evidence that the person has provided:

……is fuelling a culture where the default position is to identify factors that justify detention rather than considering each case in accordance with the published policy

Effects of Prolonged Detention

My health have been affected due to detention, I have mental stress and also my partner and friends suffering due to me being in detention, and in stress. When I was detained I weighted 48 kg and now my weight has decreased to 43 kg. I have developed a habit of not-eating due to depression and stress. In detention I have been victim of bully, abuse and humiliation because I am homosexual. I have been deprived of my liberty for such an extend period of time now that I am have a significant effect on my mental health and physical health; because I am uncertain that till when I will be released from detention and not to able my friends, and most importantly my partner. I have also started suffering from anxiety recently which is again having an adverse effect on my well-being.

And month ago on 29 January 2015 they took me so far from London and far from my partner. My partner and friends living in London. They can’t come here to easy meet me. I am in detention centre last from 7 months. Really I don’t want become a mad. I have also physical problem internal bleeding. But no one here to care of me. Harmondsworth health care always avoid my health problem. I need hospital treatment. I got appointment in hospital in April but not sure I will get in April or may be after. I just want to ask you my punishment not complete yet. How much I survive? I have my partner here. I can’t live without him. My partner can’t go India with Pakistani nationality.

I have no family in India even No any friend. When they will send me back in India where I will go? I also contact with LGBT in India but they didn’t give me any good response. Like name NAZ Project and UDAAN Organization. And I also sent email to INDIAN HUMAN RIGHT first they give me reply. But when I asked from them how you protect gays in India and which kind of human right you give to people. After that no reply from them. I attached new news about Indian gays. What government thinking about LGB people. And what GOA city minister said about them. Indian BJP (Bharti Janta party) and prime minister of India also with them. They want to make us normal. By medicine or other things. Am I not normal? And I have also new plenty of fresh evidence and supporting letters from my gay friends.

Home Office Made Mistake In My Case According To Me.

My case worker said I can continue my relationship in India as well if my partner here. She said I can continue my relationship on phone modern communication by skype, tango, SMS chat, etc. how it is possible. I want to know that what definition of relationship is. According to them.

They said which pics I have with my partner. Same pics with my other gay friends. So this is very little weight on my case. So mean they want to see my pornography which I couldn’t show to them. Why I? If I am gay that is that’s not mean I have no my self-respect. And according to European court law if anyone gay they don’t need to show any this kind of proof to home office for show sexuality or relationship.

They said if my partner can go Pakistan. He is well travelled to go Pakistan. Then he can arrange easily to go India and can meet me. How? If it’s easy can they arrange this arrangements for my partner and can home office can take his guarantee when he will go India. And lot of other things which home office did mistake.

Really still I have very strong case

We are both (me and my partner) suffering as we have been separated due to my immigration matter. Now we are in deep and committed to each other separating us is killing us and taking our life away. We are just empty souls without each other. We both are suffering mentally and physically due to the harsh conditions in detention centre.

No anyone knows which problems I am facing every day in detention. Where is some Asian Community treating me like an abnormal person? They see me like this they never see GAY person in life. Mam how can I hide my feelings how can I control on my feelings. I have no problem if someone call me GAY. But Asian community don’t call gay. I think they don’t know what is meaning of gay. They only know just this we are not a normal people. They use very cheap, bulgur, bad, language for us.

Where I go to ask this. Can I ask to you please? My punishment is not complete yet. My 6 months complete in detention (prison). According to home office rule include day and night my 1 year in detention centre. I am thinking this if I was not gay. May be I never came to home office direct for asylum. I am asking I am gay that’s why I am survive this punishment. And living alone without my partner. Where and which law write this if you not living together and not married then you are not real couple. They apart me separated me from him and keeping me in detention.

Really in UK detention condition is very bad. I am here gay person in detention from long time. Everyday am facing new problems in detention just about my sexuality. I been torture in India. Now as well in detention centre so many time. Why? Because I am Gay.

I asked home secretary Theresa may when my punishment will complete. Please don’t my life make worst and hell by send me back in India. I want to live my life happy, freely without any fear and humiliation with my partner in UK.

I have humble request for my life back by released me from detention centre and give back by my love my partner. And give me to right to live in United Kingdom with my partner and as an openly Gay here.

Now I got a ticket for India. My legal solicitor applied my fresh claim. I am going India. Really I don’t know what will happen with me over there. But UK immigration realized me I am Gay this is my fault. I just want to tell them please if you want to keep gay people so long in detention please open gay detention centres. Please keep separated from other detainee’s. Really I got very bad experience from this. Which I survive time in detention or which way I feel humiliation, shame, torture. I don’t want my other gay community face these things.

I sent email, letters, to so many people, organisations, for my help

  1. Her majesty Queen
  2. David Cameroon
  3. Theresa May
  4. MP of my area Barry Gardiner
  5. London Labour Party
  6. So many legal organisations
  7. Outside UK Canada, United States. Australia, Ireland, France, Germany
  8. Secretary of state William huge
  9. chief inspector of borders and immigration

I also got new news which is clearly shows the unacceptable, unfair treatment towards homosexuals in India. As you can see it states being homosexual you have disease which can be cured by reprograming. I find this to be unacceptable attitude. And I have also lots of new evidence (news) which are shows what is the bad behaviour with gays in India. This is new latest’s news which I am send you. I feel I cannot be myself you only have one life you should be able to live in a safe environment and live with my sweet partner openly here.

Please help me. I beg you please listen to my words. Every word is true. I am hanging on a thread and I need this governments support. I have been traumatized enough in India please don’t send me back. Please I beg you for your pity.

I have high blood pressure

I have been here for two months now. I have high blood pressure and I have my test results. I said I need my medication that I take outside.They know my blood pressure and then they took me and put me in Colnbrook and locked me up! They just locked me inside. It’s just like prison, its prison man. They locked me up, my life is off, they locked me up. I’m on my on in here. I went on Monday to make a complaint and now they take me here [from Harmondsworth]. Because of depression I started smoking. They dismiss my case. I didn’t apply for bail because I’m fed up. I don’t know why I’m here. I told them that I was sick and they put me in Colnbrook. They don’t want to attend to me. I’m banging on the door and they aren’t doing anything for me, they’re not medical. Everything is off – TV is off.