No one is listening to you, nobody. I am sick with this system here.

I’m here since 24th May 2003, since that time I am here. And when I come first time this country I apply for asylum, and they always reject my case. Three time they asked me, they sent me a letter, the Home Office, they put me on a hold for a decision, 2008, 2010, 2011. All the time, they put me on hold and I wait I wait I wait, and I wait till 2016, 2016, 29th of February, that was my last refusal. They reject my case they say you have no basis in this country, you have to leave this country as soon as possible.

So 2016, I had enough, I never trust myself, because I was signing with the HO every single months. On the paper I was signing I was taking it to the immigration, It was saying you have no right to work, you have no right to take benefits and no right to get married in this country. And then I never trust myself, I had a girlfriend I was very happy for 4 years, but I couldn’t get married with her. She wanted to build a relationship , she wanted to have a baby but I was scared because the Home Office could come any time and take me. We finished in 2013, we finished. She was from Poland. Because there is many reasons, I have no paper. She keep ask me to go to somewhere to holiday, I couldn’t have a chance. It was like a prison, always for me. Even when I was outside. I felt I was not a human being like everyone. I see all people around me my friends, my cousin, their lives changed in many things, married, car, they go to holiday. But me, in the last 14 years nothing changed in my life, nothing.

So I make a big mistake first time by coming to this country. I saw on the media on the TV they talk about the human rights, all the decisions , they are not true. I came to that point to think that there is no human rights in this country, and they left me on the street and then I found myself in a prison. I tell you why I got to prison. In 2016 I found myself in prison, I don’t know why this, when I had my last rejection , that was my last rejection, till now they reject my case 8 or 9 times, I made a fresh claim 3 times to Liverpool. And I was suffering since 2009 from heart condition I can prove it I have all my paperwork with me.

In April 2016 I decide to leave this country. I take someone else’s passport , that was a British passport. I decide to go to Canada. I went to Gatwick, I buy a ticket to Canada. I went to Gatwick to apply for asylum in Canada, in Gatwick the security topped me and said that picture doesn’t look like you. They called the immigration, when they came they take me to police station. They take me there, they take my fingerprints, before that I say, I know that is my last thing, I say I don’t want to say anything, he says this is not me. when they do my fingerprints my name come on. The police man he was so happy, after 4 hours he says you have the right to have a solicitor. If you would have seen his smile, he was very happy, because I think he get a bonus , because he caught me. But they don’t know how I survived for 14 years outside, they don’t care about you. After that they say you have the right to a solicitor, she tell me plead guilty, plead guilty, that would be better for you. It will only be 12 months. Then I decide to plead guilty.

I go to court in Brighton. My barrister stand up, I have many cases like that but this story is different. He explain everything to the judge, the last 14 years he has been here, he has never been in trouble, what he did now he is desperate. He is looking for a better life, I was happy because I the immigration never gave me a chance. I want to work, I want to get married, but I lost many things in my life in England. The judge was never listening to my barrister, no way. He say I know, I know. But if I don’t give him 12 months, they will trouble him. Nearly nearly he put me on the terrorist list. That is the human right really? When he decides he needs to close his eyes, but in England they look at your colour, at your face. In 4 days I will be locked up for one year. Because I was suffering, I have never been in prison, I have never seen anything like that.

They sent me a letter , a deportation order. Same story, over again. Then I decide to at least go out from this prison, because I have a heart condition. Until now I wish for my death, but I don’t do anything stupid because of my family. I don’t trust myself any more, in that life, nothing change in my life. I signed the deportation order in July. The Islamic state went to my city and they killed 450 people there. When I signed the deportation order, because already they give me automatically. They promise me to send me back within 3 weeks time. The immigration person, she said in 3 weeks time we send you back to Iraq. My sentence was one year, so I was inside 6 months. In that 6 months, if you sign the order, we take of 3 months , so you get early release, you go back to your country. I was desperate. I was really desperate. I couldn’t take this prison, 22 hours locked up, 1 hour in the morning and 1 hours during lunchtime at that’s it, until the next morning. That’s why I decide straight away, I just want to asked the immigration one thing, if I go back to Iraq, if I go to Iraq, I have been to court 6 times. Why nobody asked me why I am leaving this country? Why nobody asked me why I am leaving? They have no answer for that. They say its a different thing, you need to make a claim.

Whatever you say, the judge is not listening. I see in the court, they make a drama. 3 of them in the court is immigration, I tried everything, everything. And then they promise me in 3 weeks time, they send me back to Iraq. That was last year in July, 2016. After that they said to me, after 5 or 6 weeks, if you want go back you need to bring your ID, your document from Iraq. I did bring all my documents from Iraq. They play another game with me, after that they say we have to take you to the embassy for an interview and remember, this is all till now. And how long is it going take, I am just waiting. After that they take you to the embassy to find out whether you are from Iraq. So you make me sign the deportation order so I cant go out? But you said 3 weeks, then its been already 3 months. In October in ran out, still I am in here for another 6 months.

What I did, when I see they play game with me. I keep going to court with the video link, I would have a surety, the probation they kept my address, till now I went 6 time with video link to be released, the judge doesn’t release me. I ask him, when will you release me. He said this is immigration. This is it now, I had enough, I have enough of their game. My surety came down from Birmingham twice to London, even when they reject my case, they never said to him, sorry. In December 2016 the immigration, they know it, I am going to court, the following week. They call me, still you want go back to Iraq or not. But now I don’t want. You never booked me a ticket. Because I don’t see any reason, July to December is 5 months, you never did anything for me. Now I want go out from here myself. But immigration, they play another game with me.

So in January 2017, I went to video link again for a bail hearing. And then I go there, my surety there, everything there, my barrister there, my barrister stand up and was saying if you go back to Iraq, what happen to you in Kirkut. The judge right away shout at the barrister, and ask why are we here. We don’t talk about his asylum case here. I feel they don’t give a fuck, the judge doesn’t care what happens to me when I go back. The judge says sit down we are here for bail, we don’t care. And then, I was not surprised. They reject my case, they reject my bail again. The judge asked why don’t you send him back, the immigration says he signed something in December no to go back. But I say how many months I am waiting, 5 months, they promised me in 3 weeks time to send me back. Even the judge says the process takes a long time. I say excuse me , from July to December, I see no forward for my case so that’s why I decide not to go back. In March 2017 they take me to the Iraqi embassy for the interview. When they take me there, they give me one way travel document. Valid for 2 months.

So in the beginning of May this is my last day, so then I have to fly , otherwise its going be expired. So in the beginning of April I went to bail again. I say, I am here for my ticket. Where is my ticket? The immigration say the remove is set up for the middle of May, which means by then my travel document will have expired nearly 6 days. I asked the judge, can you ask the immigration to explain that for me, is this a joke? I have to fly in the beginning. He said to me early remove set up in the middle of May, I say I don´t understand, the judge say go back to your wing, the staff will explain you. What are you talking about, you racist, you don’t understand. No, the staff only give me food, they lock my door and open my door. But she was not listening, when I was saying she is racist, they turn off my speaker and I am finished. Now I am suffering from heart condition and depression, if I don’t take the medicine , I cant sleep. And in the beginning of may, in 22 days, my travel document will expire, and I cant take that game any more. I am not waiting for another travel document. I don’t know how long its going on take. What then? Is this the end of the world? If I am looking for better life, this is the British law which is on the media? Many time, I say to the judge I have a heart condition, no one is listening to you, nobody. I am sick with this system here.

…they don’t like all kinds of things, government is not allowing. So they just abused me, kicked me. I tried to escape from them, that’s why I am here.

I came from Nigeria in 2010, the problem is, I got problem with my ex-wife. During that time I met a white guy ,R, he came to Nigeria. We met and along that, he liked me, he looked after me, that’s why I go with him. During that problem I don’t know where is my wife and my kids, its a long situation. You know in Nigeria, they don’t like all kinds of things, government is not allowing. So when people get out with white people, so they just abused me, kicked me. I tried to escape from them, that’s why I am here.

I met another people here, because of fear from my country I was here you know, I tell them about my story, they know what I am up to. He said don’t worry I will take care of you in this country, but then he treat me badly and abused me. Its a long story. I then left his house, to be honest I slept outside in the train station for 2 weeks before I get another place to stay. It makes me sad when I remember it. In detention here, a lot of people here different different story, what I know some people don’t like me now, I cant go back to my country. So I have to find ways to make myself, what I try to do, people that I met here just try to put me through, that’s why I am in detention here, because someone gave me the document to work, and then they caught me when I was working. I did not want to steal anything, I just wanted to feed myself and make my life comfortable for me. I just used it to find something to feed myself, how am I supposed to think about it. Because I am not a scrounger, I used this country to save my life. I am not here to disrespect this country or disobey the law. Just before I lack in education, I didn’t know what is right, what is not right. Until I get this problem, I met different people.

We share what happened to us here in detention, people can say okay I am a drug dealer, I did this and that. So if I said them about my story they say I am not supposed to be here and in like that. All I know here different people that are, they are not supposed to be here.

I applied asylum this year and another friend and they approached me with asylum, my application made in January this year , I applied for bail last week it was rejected.

My fear is if I have to go back, they know about my relationship with me and R that’s why I had to come here, this kind of thing they don’t allow it in my country, people no allow it, and government is not allow it, if they catch someone like that they will be killed and they will be put in prison , and secondly like my life, when I remember, that memory for my, I lost my family, my wife, I didn’t see them, I don’t know where they are , like since 2009 my life is too sad, I care about my life and I just do it on my own. I don’t know why this thing happened to me.

He was distressed, he was shouting they come to kidnap me , they come to kidnap me

Last night my friend Darren C. phoned me and he left his phone on and he was shouting that they were coming to get him. He was shouting that they were here to kidnap him, he was shouting shouting, I was listening, and shouting shouting shouting. He was distressed, he was shouting they come to kidnap me , they come to kidnap me. And then after that we were hearing a lot of noise they were banging the door, a lot of guys shouted shouted. And then after that, he was saying, I have got nothing, why are you coming for me, a lot of shouting. And then he hung up the phone. That was all I heard, the shouting.

This morning when I woke up, what happened about 7 o’ clock this morning, the riot squat came, I heard that his left arm was broken. I heard that he came down peacefully, but I also heard that his left arm was broken. He is in solitary confinement at the moment, so we don’t know what happened. From 9 pm to 7 am in the morning we were locked in . They came about 10 pm to take him away, the riot squat. I think this his when they broke his arm. I am concerned that his arm is broken. At midnight there was a lot of shouting and banging, a lot of banging . Everybody could hear him shouting and then they started banging the door. It was disruptive.

Everybody is sad and in a low mood today you know. It could happen to anyone of us. It was really horrible. I have been in this detention months for 23 months, I volunteer to go back but until now they haven said anything, why they are still keeping us. I am ready to go home, I don’t know why they are detaining me. I am just waiting for 3 months, I have applied and waiting. It is draining , I want to go back, they still haven’t removed me, next months I will be here for 2 years. Things like last night happen before. You know what happens they are locking us up right now (5pm), so I need to go.

They are detaining people for as long as they want, which is totally illegal and disproportionate

I am a victim of torture and the Home Office says a victim of torture should never be detained, if it confirmed by the medical practitioner in detention. I am a level 3 indicator rest, which makes me too vulnerable to be in detention. And right now, I have a case pending, and I am preparing for my bail at the moment. And I hope it will be a positive outcome as soon as possible. I think the Home Office is really not following their policy at all, in the sense that they are going to make up a policy and they are not following it. Which is affecting a lot of people in detention centre, vulnerable people in detention. They are detaining people for as long as they want, which is totally illegal and disproportionate.

Now my case is on judicial review in the high court for unlawful detention, they already filed the judicial review. Because I have been detained for more than 6 months and I am waiting for the positive outcome. I am suing the home office. Yet they are not releasing me. So I recently arranged to see doctor here in the centre. And I explained to him about my mental state, my mental heath. And I explained everything to him, low mood, agitation, loss of weight, lack of concentration and so on. He told me that he is going to forward the message to the HO, so they can review my case, that was last Thursday, 3 days ago. He told me he will forward the message, because I am totally unfit for detention .

Even people, some of my friends, they got a report from the doctor in December and they got release. I don’t what criteria they use to release people under rule 35. Some friends got released under that rule , but I didn’t, so don’t know. Some of them did commit a crime, they were on temporary admission and they didn’t comply. But for me I never committed any crime in the UK and I complied when I got temporary admission before I got detained. I was on temporary admission before I was in detention, I reported regularly in lunar house every two weeks. I was always complying with that. But now I have been in detention for more than 6 months, and I am a vulnerable who can be harmed through detention. The horrible part of it is when I call the Home Office, and ask for my caseworker they say I don’t have a caseworker. So anyone can open my file and write something about me. I called a couple of time, to ask for my caseworker. I have been seeing different people, the next month I see another case worker.

The system is just totally shit man. My case is better than other peoples who committed crimes and didn’t comply to the temporary admission conditions and then they are just in detention for 2 or 3 months. I have two cases pending and it is going take a lot of time, no one knows how long its going to take. So I think they should release me while I am waiting. Everyone needs their liberty.

Instead of bringing me to the hospital, they are making excuses. They don’t bring me to the hospital to see the specialists

Its really hard, because its like 4 months I am here and I feel like more than 4 years. My life, I have lot of personal problems, I have been here and I cannot get any treatments. Even the doctor has said to me it is about my mind. It is hard to get treatment, its lot of people every day people are coming. You have to share the room with people. Its very complicated because I have health problems, I have ear infections for years and years and many other problems.

When I was outside it was not a big things, first thing when I was outside I was going to the doctor, they made me a surgery. I was supposed to go to a surgery in October, I got paperwork about that, I provided everything to the healthcare in the detention centre. They cancelled it, they said its too hard to take me out from here. They said they arrange another appointment.

The food is really bad, I cant eat everything , the toilets are really dirty. It is really hard and I am getting lost and lost. It has been 4 months since they cancelled. What happened it is really not fair. You know the doctor gave me 4 different kinds of antibiotics, very powerful. Instead of bringing me to the hospital, they are making excuses. They don’t bring me to the hospital to see the specialists.

I said to the doctor, I showed it to the doctor outside, 4 different antibiotics in 2 weeks. He said this can only be done through an operation. I may loose my hearing. Something comes out of my ear, I have to wash my sheets every second day. Its very embarrassing. They try to solve it with tablets. He said he will refer me to the specialist. I am just going down with my mental problems, I am seeing the psychologist every week. Even the psychologist said it will not end very soon. I say just release me , it will be a quick fix. I haven’t talked to my parents for 2 months, I haven’t talked to my family for 2 months. I can’t find them anymore. I am scared.

They treat us like animals, what do we have? In the end of the day we are losers, I am happy that I still survive. I don’t know when I am going to go out, its like hell over here. I will definitely help everybody who is in the detention centre when I get out. I know how hard it is for people here, waiting in the queue for half an hour to get two paracetamol. I got flu, I got cold, I got cancer, I got pain in my leg, they just give you paracetamol. It is really hard for me, I feel like my future is getting spoiled. I thought I will live 100 years, but I don’t see my future from here. I got loads of problems back home, I am scared all of the time, am I going to be tortured, am I going be dead. I am not saying, just accept my case straight away. I know it takes time to go through my case, but I am spoiling every second every minute , but just release me, I will not run away, I am fearing my life, I will not go back home.

I have friends outside, it is a waste of time in here. Everything is not gonna be solved, my skin is going weird, one of the nurses said it is because of the water here. What can I do? Should I stop taking shower? I go every two weeks to the doctor, I say tell the home office. So many people say so many different kind of things. But at the end of the day I have to my body with that waters. One of my friends, he sent him back now, he had the same problem. After taking shower, he had red marks on his body. Mine is kind of, like a rash , in the morning when I wake up, it really hurts. I have been getting them on my hand, on my feet. I heard lots of people saying here, you can get a very itchy body, very dry body. You just press the button for the shower and the water comes. You have no choice. I had a problem under my foot and I cant wear shoes. At the end of the day I am in big problems. It is not fair. The officer just try to let go everything and make excuses. And we just wait for weeks and months and it may go on for years. I just pray for God that I don’t live for long, things are getting worse over here. Otherwise I should go mental. I just think its better to go mental, then they would release me. It is very complicated. For my appeal hearing I tried to adjourn it until I am fit enough until I can concentrate properly, its my life, you know. But they refused, I couldn’t really concentrate because of the pain. It was really bad the hearing. It is not really fair, the people over here they know what needs to be done. Before my hearing, my solicitor sent a letter to the health care over here in the centre and made a request to write a letter to say that I am not fit enough to go to the hearing. After the appeal hearing they health care replied and said I am not fit enough. But it was too late, they are playing with my life.

This is the life in Yarl’s Wood

In August I was taken back to Yarl’s Wood when I went to report. Why they take me back I don’t know. My passport was due to expire in a week and I saw a ticket for a few days time because they were trying to rush me through. I’ve been living in this country for 20 years. I have 8 grandchildren and 4 children in this country. 

Just after I finished visiting with my son they said they come to take me to isolation. I told them i am not going. They called security. Four big men came and manhandled me and put cuffs on me and slammed me on the floor. I am 52 years old, I had a heart attack last year, I have many sicknesses. I am a victim of torture. All this reminds me and brings back the memories of torture. One of the big men put his foot or his his big hand on my head to keep it down. They took me to Kingfisher which is the isolation. They throw me on the floor there, the floor is really dirty. 

I was so traumatised I wanted to die. I took some tablets. On the way airport i told the officers I had taken tablets and took me to hospital and had to flush my stomach. That flight was canceled because they tried to rush it through. So they took me back to Yarl’s Wood.

Whenever I see the guards I am afraid. I lock my room now. I never used to do that. I run away when i see the guards. 

This is the life in Yarl’s Wood.

On Saturday they locked us all up. We just wanted to see the people who were here for us and we couldn’t. All the women were really upset. We didn’t know this could happen in a country where I am supposed to be safe. You expect this to happen in Africa but not in Britain. So we are not eating, but we are weak.

This is like Guantanamo Bay. Really.

We are walking around like we are mad. We are not like this.

The guards don’t respect the women at all. Not the way they treat us here. 

We are not talking to them. We are just staying in our rooms or move away when they try talk to us.

They call it ‘Notorious Yarls Wood’, and it is notorious.

They don’t give you a ticket, they give you a window of time. They say, ‘You will go within these three days, or five days.’ They changed this about a month ago. Why is this? Because we would call our solicitors straight away and stop the flight. As I am talking there is a woman next door who is supposed to be taken to the airport today, deported to Pakistan. There were supposed to be 15 women deported yesterday, to Nigeria. There was a flight stop about two months ago, people refused to go. We grouped up for three days in one room, refused to eat and everything, and the charter flight didn’t happen. So now they takes one by one into isolation so we can’t be in solidarity and stop the flight together. The bus comes, the bus is called ‘THE JOURNEY BEGINS HERE’. That is the name of bus that takes the women. This bus took the women to Stansted Airport for a charter flight to go to Nigeria and Ghana. We really fear for our safety here. Our experiences here leave us with depression, sleep disruption and mental health. We are like zombies.

It really reminds us of the history you read about slaves. When they used to take people and put them in the ships, to take them and go and sell them. Now, they are doing this here. Yarls Wood is a slave ship. They take you from here and put you on a charter flight. The G4S, the owners of this place, they get a lot of money when they deport people out of the country. There was a woman here who wanted to go, her daughter bought her a ticket to leave but they didn’t like this because they don’t get all the money from it. They took their time to let her go, but when they want to deport you they move quickly, because they get money from it.

When you look in Yarls Wood there is no white person in here, we are all Indian, Chinese and African. It is racism. They don’t want any people of colour in this country. There are white Zimbabweans who are claiming asylum but they can do it outside. We are treated as animals. One officer said to us they get £300 a week for each of us.

The people in the Mediterranean, we are like this. This is our ship, we are drowning. We don’t have life jackets, we need lifejackets. Our life jackets are you people out there. Please help us.

I have been in England 20 years, I paid my taxes, paid my NI. My back is hurt from lifting older people, working with disabled children. I worked with all my heart. There is one woman here who is 87 years old. An Indian woman. Would you do this to your Grandmother? She cant even walk. If there was a Yarls Wood in Africa it would be all over the news. But it is happening in England and so nobody knows about it. The laws in England remain the most barbaric in the EU.

Out there they don’t know about people in here. We left our family outside. Our children are outside, our husbands are outside. The young girls here just got married and they left their husbands outside. They are breaking up families.

It is like we are in prison, these women have never done anything wrong. We left torture, we ran from rape. Then you think you are running away England where you can be safe.

We really need help in here. this places needs to be shut down. They are depriving us of our liberty. We came to England to be safe. Hearing that if you come to England you will be safe. You are running away from murders and torture, some people have had all their families murdered.

We are not terrorists. We are not harming anyone. There are people who have been killing people who are given bail. We haven’t hurt anyone. They lie, they say you are a threat to society. I am not a killer. Where are we to turn to for help? The whole world needs to know. Tell the BBC. They call it ‘Notorious Yarls Wood’, and it is notorious.

Please help us, they are just taking us and throwing us in the planes.

The detainees, we saved his life.

See last week he smashed one of the classrooms, the person who tried to kill himself today. In the ESOL class he smashed the class up last week. 

You know the funny thing is there should always be officers here – there should always be an officer at the desk on the first floor, and on the ground floor where we have breakfast. There should be someone there too. If they were in their posts they would have seen the man, they would have seen him hanging there. 

They don’t even say thank you. The detainees, we saved his life. The officers, they show no remorse. 

The manager of activities just saw the camera footage and she was surprised he didn’t break his neck. Thats when she said thank you – you’ve done a good job. She said he was the same person that smashed up the classroom last week.

None of them care what happened. They haven’t asked us any questions about it. No questions asked.

I hope people find out what is going on in here you know. The tax payers need to know what is happening in these detention centres. It is so bad.