I was not like this before.

I produced a letter for Luna House that I got depression- and they referred me to counselling, and then they didn’t give it back to me- it’s there in the Home Office. I have been detained now I am on fast-track. I have a partner-she is pregnant. I was suffering from stress and everything and I can not properly sleep. You know, lot’s of problems are here. I tried to find the GP nine times, ten times, and they gave me the doctor- again yesterday I had the nurse. And I said I am sweating at night-time, and the way she talked to me was very rude. She told me I am making stories- she said I am going to put you in lock up, and you cannot go outside. I am depressed and I have a lot of problems going around my head. And she told me everyting- I will lock up you…and I have problems- I cannot work in Sri Lanka. I came to here as children. I had a relationship with a member of parliament, because of that issue I can’t return. They didn’t treat me properly.

I want to get my NHS number- it is inside my luggage; they took everything when I came here. When I came here I tried to get all my important documents and it’s been two weekends. And they haven’t give me. I come in the evening and they said come in the morning; I come in the morning and they said come in the evening. They treat us like foreign dogs- they are not caring about us. How can we spend the proper time for our applications? My English is not very good. Yesterday- the way she told me I was very upset. I was hunger-striking, I was protesting. I got TB in 2012- I had medication from 1 year and I have side-effects. I have diabetes and now I have depression. I hate this building. Two times they refused me- they want me to bring a GP letter, and I take a GP letter, and I say I have depression and they put me here. My partner is upset because I am here. She is pregnant and nobody is supporting for her. She is coming tomorrow. I am very scared- you can’t believe that your baby, or something like that…I can’t understand…I get very upset I feel very upset mentally. Couselling. The word counselling…when I was coming here, I was not like this. I am like a crazy person. I can’t even think, everything, because of this illness.

If you put people here; people will get mad. My partner is outside in my house- and my baby is going to come in August. She is having abdominal pains, and she can’t do anything- she can’t give a bath to our babies, and the shower stopped working. My lawyer is also…today he didn’t call me. Not I am trying to get my NHS number. All this- everything is mad here. I was not like this before, I used to work as a support worker with people with learning difficulties in July. Now I can’t concentrate- now language, everything I am forgetting because of this. I am getting angry with the people very, very, very soon. I have got depression in here- I don’t know what is the law. I don’t know if I talk about these it is going to do anything.

Yesterday in the morning I went to wash my big sheet because I had been sweating. They said no washing powder in the morning. I have nail problems because I am biting my nails because of the stress. I tried to open my locker and I damaged my hands. I told the doctor I could not sleep and he just gave me a plaster. Another time I went to get a plaster and they made me wait for one hour. The officer came and said, come another ten or fifteen minutes later. I didn’t go back there again. Today I asked them to come and open my locker- they still didn’t come. And I had to find a steel fork to open my locker, and I took my stuff outside. I am getting angry with my partner very quickly.

I am losing my mind.

 

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