No one is listening to you, nobody. I am sick with this system here.

I’m here since 24th May 2003, since that time I am here. And when I come first time this country I apply for asylum, and they always reject my case. Three time they asked me, they sent me a letter, the Home Office, they put me on a hold for a decision, 2008, 2010, 2011. All the time, they put me on hold and I wait I wait I wait, and I wait till 2016, 2016, 29th of February, that was my last refusal. They reject my case they say you have no basis in this country, you have to leave this country as soon as possible.

So 2016, I had enough, I never trust myself, because I was signing with the HO every single months. On the paper I was signing I was taking it to the immigration, It was saying you have no right to work, you have no right to take benefits and no right to get married in this country. And then I never trust myself, I had a girlfriend I was very happy for 4 years, but I couldn’t get married with her. She wanted to build a relationship , she wanted to have a baby but I was scared because the Home Office could come any time and take me. We finished in 2013, we finished. She was from Poland. Because there is many reasons, I have no paper. She keep ask me to go to somewhere to holiday, I couldn’t have a chance. It was like a prison, always for me. Even when I was outside. I felt I was not a human being like everyone. I see all people around me my friends, my cousin, their lives changed in many things, married, car, they go to holiday. But me, in the last 14 years nothing changed in my life, nothing.

So I make a big mistake first time by coming to this country. I saw on the media on the TV they talk about the human rights, all the decisions , they are not true. I came to that point to think that there is no human rights in this country, and they left me on the street and then I found myself in a prison. I tell you why I got to prison. In 2016 I found myself in prison, I don’t know why this, when I had my last rejection , that was my last rejection, till now they reject my case 8 or 9 times, I made a fresh claim 3 times to Liverpool. And I was suffering since 2009 from heart condition I can prove it I have all my paperwork with me.

In April 2016 I decide to leave this country. I take someone else’s passport , that was a British passport. I decide to go to Canada. I went to Gatwick, I buy a ticket to Canada. I went to Gatwick to apply for asylum in Canada, in Gatwick the security topped me and said that picture doesn’t look like you. They called the immigration, when they came they take me to police station. They take me there, they take my fingerprints, before that I say, I know that is my last thing, I say I don’t want to say anything, he says this is not me. when they do my fingerprints my name come on. The police man he was so happy, after 4 hours he says you have the right to have a solicitor. If you would have seen his smile, he was very happy, because I think he get a bonus , because he caught me. But they don’t know how I survived for 14 years outside, they don’t care about you. After that they say you have the right to a solicitor, she tell me plead guilty, plead guilty, that would be better for you. It will only be 12 months. Then I decide to plead guilty.

I go to court in Brighton. My barrister stand up, I have many cases like that but this story is different. He explain everything to the judge, the last 14 years he has been here, he has never been in trouble, what he did now he is desperate. He is looking for a better life, I was happy because I the immigration never gave me a chance. I want to work, I want to get married, but I lost many things in my life in England. The judge was never listening to my barrister, no way. He say I know, I know. But if I don’t give him 12 months, they will trouble him. Nearly nearly he put me on the terrorist list. That is the human right really? When he decides he needs to close his eyes, but in England they look at your colour, at your face. In 4 days I will be locked up for one year. Because I was suffering, I have never been in prison, I have never seen anything like that.

They sent me a letter , a deportation order. Same story, over again. Then I decide to at least go out from this prison, because I have a heart condition. Until now I wish for my death, but I don’t do anything stupid because of my family. I don’t trust myself any more, in that life, nothing change in my life. I signed the deportation order in July. The Islamic state went to my city and they killed 450 people there. When I signed the deportation order, because already they give me automatically. They promise me to send me back within 3 weeks time. The immigration person, she said in 3 weeks time we send you back to Iraq. My sentence was one year, so I was inside 6 months. In that 6 months, if you sign the order, we take of 3 months , so you get early release, you go back to your country. I was desperate. I was really desperate. I couldn’t take this prison, 22 hours locked up, 1 hour in the morning and 1 hours during lunchtime at that’s it, until the next morning. That’s why I decide straight away, I just want to asked the immigration one thing, if I go back to Iraq, if I go to Iraq, I have been to court 6 times. Why nobody asked me why I am leaving this country? Why nobody asked me why I am leaving? They have no answer for that. They say its a different thing, you need to make a claim.

Whatever you say, the judge is not listening. I see in the court, they make a drama. 3 of them in the court is immigration, I tried everything, everything. And then they promise me in 3 weeks time, they send me back to Iraq. That was last year in July, 2016. After that they said to me, after 5 or 6 weeks, if you want go back you need to bring your ID, your document from Iraq. I did bring all my documents from Iraq. They play another game with me, after that they say we have to take you to the embassy for an interview and remember, this is all till now. And how long is it going take, I am just waiting. After that they take you to the embassy to find out whether you are from Iraq. So you make me sign the deportation order so I cant go out? But you said 3 weeks, then its been already 3 months. In October in ran out, still I am in here for another 6 months.

What I did, when I see they play game with me. I keep going to court with the video link, I would have a surety, the probation they kept my address, till now I went 6 time with video link to be released, the judge doesn’t release me. I ask him, when will you release me. He said this is immigration. This is it now, I had enough, I have enough of their game. My surety came down from Birmingham twice to London, even when they reject my case, they never said to him, sorry. In December 2016 the immigration, they know it, I am going to court, the following week. They call me, still you want go back to Iraq or not. But now I don’t want. You never booked me a ticket. Because I don’t see any reason, July to December is 5 months, you never did anything for me. Now I want go out from here myself. But immigration, they play another game with me.

So in January 2017, I went to video link again for a bail hearing. And then I go there, my surety there, everything there, my barrister there, my barrister stand up and was saying if you go back to Iraq, what happen to you in Kirkut. The judge right away shout at the barrister, and ask why are we here. We don’t talk about his asylum case here. I feel they don’t give a fuck, the judge doesn’t care what happens to me when I go back. The judge says sit down we are here for bail, we don’t care. And then, I was not surprised. They reject my case, they reject my bail again. The judge asked why don’t you send him back, the immigration says he signed something in December no to go back. But I say how many months I am waiting, 5 months, they promised me in 3 weeks time to send me back. Even the judge says the process takes a long time. I say excuse me , from July to December, I see no forward for my case so that’s why I decide not to go back. In March 2017 they take me to the Iraqi embassy for the interview. When they take me there, they give me one way travel document. Valid for 2 months.

So in the beginning of May this is my last day, so then I have to fly , otherwise its going be expired. So in the beginning of April I went to bail again. I say, I am here for my ticket. Where is my ticket? The immigration say the remove is set up for the middle of May, which means by then my travel document will have expired nearly 6 days. I asked the judge, can you ask the immigration to explain that for me, is this a joke? I have to fly in the beginning. He said to me early remove set up in the middle of May, I say I don´t understand, the judge say go back to your wing, the staff will explain you. What are you talking about, you racist, you don’t understand. No, the staff only give me food, they lock my door and open my door. But she was not listening, when I was saying she is racist, they turn off my speaker and I am finished. Now I am suffering from heart condition and depression, if I don’t take the medicine , I cant sleep. And in the beginning of may, in 22 days, my travel document will expire, and I cant take that game any more. I am not waiting for another travel document. I don’t know how long its going on take. What then? Is this the end of the world? If I am looking for better life, this is the British law which is on the media? Many time, I say to the judge I have a heart condition, no one is listening to you, nobody. I am sick with this system here.

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