But now I feel my future is black. Bad life then next it became good life, then bad life, until now it’s bad.

This is the second time I have been detained. I enter into this country on the _______ and since I enter, they took me to Dover for 2 days and then they moved me to Tinsley House. I stay there around 1 month and pandemic came, they release me by immigration there. And I move for several hotels. ______, then _____, then _____. Recently in ______. I received paper from the Home Office that I should go to Luna House in London. So when I go there, they detain me again in Brook House. Now they want to send me again to Spain after I sit here in this country for more than 5 months and 15 days until now. I stay in this country which mean this is the longest time I sit in European countries including UK. This is what is going on in UK, but if you want to know from where I grow up, where I born, I can give you details about.

Well I born in Yemen for two years and then my family decided that Yemen is not good for the normal life. They moved to Saudi Arabia to work and when I arrived 13 my dad is dead. And I’m the only boy for my mum. My mum she’s still in Saudi Arabia when I arrived 18, I went to Yemen to study as a doctor. I stay there for 1 year. That was in 2013 when I was 19. And during that time the Houthi movement is start. It’s the movement to occupation the city centre it’s Sanaa it’s the capital city. And there I was study there. They catch me near to my University, they understand that I have different accent, which belong to Saudi Arabia. They try to investigate about me and they know I’m from Yemen and they know that I have home in Sanaa.

They go to my home and take it and they want for good because I from, I came from Saudi Arabia. And they have a lot of information about their life, lifestyle, how they think, where is the important place, they want to, they were, they were just interested in military questions. So I arrived to that point that I should go back to Saudi Arabia to bring my mum they said we will stay in this home until you came. I run away from them. I run away from these people. I say a lot of things that… I’m from Yemen, but I never feel that I belong to a country. If you will go from Yemen, you will not believe what is going on. So I back to Saudi Arabia. In 2014 I found myself useless, until someone get me a van, I work illegal in the company… you know it’s called Creem, for transportation. I was working as assistant project manager and during that time, I can handle myself. I was having salary, I was having normal life. I was travelling, I was studying in University. I have a certificate from England, because this University they have a branch in Saudi Arabia. So when I graduate I find myself facing the authorisation system that belong to the new King, they want to employ many Saudi so I find myself I can’t work there and I can’t offer myself to pay for my ID because they are taking a lot of tests for the foreigner. I arrive to that point if I couldn’t find work, this is mean my visa would be expire so I would back to Yemen, I thought. And I don’t want that.

So in _________, I moved from Saudi Arabia to Mauritania, by airplane. And from Mauritania I cross to Mali, this is in Africa. When you move illegal there are many smugglers, they will transport you from place to another place. You will pay every time. And I find myself with a smuggler he said he will take us, 200 for everyone. And he appeared me if I don’t pay, he tortured us, I were with some of African people. He was raping some women and he was have gun and he said I just want 500 Dir and I will leave you. I stay with him for 8 days, some people they cannot pay, he sell them for other people, but I contact with my friend in Saudi Arabia, he is working in Unilever, he is from Palestine, I told him what’s my problem and he said, “okay I will pay 500”. After 8 days I find the hard time with him. I broke my nose, he put a knife in my chest and even he banged me in my left, my right hand in my shoulder with back of the gun. And when he understand that I will pay for him he to start to treat me nicely, until take he take his money, and he left me on the street, then I complete my way with the other smugglers. I enter into Algeria. For Mali into Algeria, and then I… it was 3 steps, because Algeria is a big place, and then I enter from Algeria to Morocco. From Morocco I was trying to go to Melilla by the door and the police from Morocco they threaten me also, one of them they slap me in my face because I was trying to enter to Spain, in Melilla. It’s part of Africa, if you don’t understand that, because people they don’t understand how can you go from Morocco to Spain by walk. Yes, there is a place belong to Spain. So when I find myself I cant go from the gate I decide to go by the sea… he insult my mum, he insult my mum and slap me. I don’t accept that but I say that I will never go through this door. I will try to go by sea again. And you know that they say, there is a lot of people are dying, one of my friend he is die from the sea on the 15th of September, his name is Hilal. The seas mean you will die or you will survive. That’s what’s going on.

I enter into a place in island that belongs to Spain military that is called “Chafaner”. And the military they let me stay for two days and after two days there is something that happen to me. There is a woman, from the military, she want me to clean my, she want me to clean that place that is provided to me, like a big room, and during that time she was monitoring me when I was in my room. She treat me bad you know like I’m shit you know. She broke my heart but after two days there is a, they call it in English, Red Cross, they bring a ship to take me. I was, we were two, me and one boy, he is also from Yemen. They took us to Melilla again. But this time I enter to Melilla by sea, by the help from the military. In Melilla I stay there for three months in a camp, and in this camp in Melilla there is a lot of thieves outside of the camp. So I fight one, four, five, six people, six boys, they are teenagers you know, but because they are teenagers, they are surviving by stealing people things. To be honest I fight with them, they don’t take anything but one of my hand, in the left hand there is one finger is still hurting, until now, it’s not moving smoothly, until now. So I said it’s okay, still in Africa, and when I go to Spain, these things will be different.

They move me to Cadiz, it’s like island, again. But this is not a problem, I find myself in a room with 6 people. All the people with me they are evicted asylum seeker but they have the right to stay for 3 months, but in my case, I will be accepted because I have a war in my country so I was not afraid about to be evicted to be honest. But there is also things happen because they are knowing each other, they are living each other. They always look at me with strange eyes and stole shoes from me and my headphones. And one day one of them he get angry and they banged me my head. It doesn’t hurt me actually but I said as much as I can I will not let this going on, so I took my right, I called the police, I speak with them in English, they bring one of the police officer, when they came, one of the boys he speak Spanish, he told them “there is nothing, don’t worry, there is no problem here”. So he lie just to close this case. And I speak with the police, I told them “listen he is threatening me, that he will broke my head until the blood is here. He said to me directly “no blood, no case”. I said “okay”. He said if he banged you with your head, you can go to the emergency too, we have people. So, I find myself the police is not standing with me and even the place that I’m living there is not good. Because it is easy to understand the asylum seeker, they have different rules there. You go with different organisation and you’re a victim. Maybe you will have a good organisation and maybe you will not.

I arrived to the point that I will not stay in that place in Cadiz. So I moved to Barcelona and in Barcelona, I go to the Red Cross and I told them I have the right to stay in Spain and I want home. They told me that I should to come in… I apply for them on the _________, they told me come in __________, so I should come to Barcelona for 3 months, see what’s going on, to can provide accommodation, so they don’t provide accommodation, in Barcelona like homeless, I meet bad people. I told the Red Cross how I can survive, they told me you can go to for the homeless, is a place for the government, they open their doors at 9 you can sleep until 7 and they will kick your ass out, until you can’t more. So when I go to sleep once, I find a lot of them, they are drinking, they don’t let you sleep. It’s hard for me. So I said at least I’m going to search for a place so I can survive.

I find myself in Paris with Romanian people. They are also bad people but they are nicely  because I am homeless and they speak Spanish, they treat me nicely. I go with them. They were stealing things from the groceries, they would do bad things, but at the same time, I was surviving with them now. I’m not bad boy but how can I survive. Until in one day, I meet one, they said, “go to Calais”. I said “what there is?”, he said “in Calais you will have your own camp”. I said, “really I will have a camp for myself?” I were happy really. Because this is what I want, I want to sleep to alone, I want just to eat. That’s it. My request it was so easy, I find myself in Calais. And then I find a lot of people there trying to go to the UK. I find a lot of them. I ask everyone. I meet a lot of Yemenis, they are coming from German, they get evicted because their fingerprint. I find a lot of them they came from all European countries they get evicted because of their fingerprint. And all of the people they want to run to UK. So I decided I want to run there. Why? Because when the people come to the UK they are treated good. I will stay in this country. So I was finding a good country to belong. Because since I born, I never belong to any country, until now. I can tell you. I own this Yemen passport, yes, but I never feel like I belong to country. Because I am education, and I want to belong to country, I want to know what’s going in my economy, you know I have different mind. I want to belong to a country. So I said UK. UK. I contacted my friend, they are Saudis, they are studying in UK, they told me “you can go _____ but don’t think you will have a good life, they are capitalism”, I said “I know what it means capitalism”, but it’s okay for me I can survive, because I speak this language. At least I can speak with anyone, I can tell anyone I feel pain directly, without to speak in Arabic, without using interpreter, because I feel bad when I were in Spain. I don’t speak Spanish, the people there treat me bad, and when I want to speak, you can’t.

In Calais, I was trying to go to UK, there is a lot of things, where they are occupation the barking for the lorries. So in one day I want to do a chance and they threatening me I can’t and if I come again they will kill me, like Sudanese. Maybe you know there are a lot of things over there, they are killing people. In one day there were six officers that came to move people from where they are sleeping, they banged me in my head just to enter into the car to the police station, until my eyes are bleeding from inside. So I stay there in Calais for 3 months trying to go, in ______ I was having bad idea that I will go, I will swim for 5 minutes from the beach to the boat, I can enter to the boat, and enter to the ship that will go to UK. It’s easy, I’m a good swimmer, I came from Jeddah, Jeddah is on the beach, I like fish I know how to snorkelling, I know how to diving, even I know how to do fishing. It’s easy, so I enter into the sea, and I find it, the weather, I don’t think about the weather, I thought coming from 5 degree country, the weather is 5 degree. So my body is stop, all my body I can’t move it, after 2 mins I’m stuck in the sea, I find the wave is move me to out of the beach. I was screaming. I feel die. I stay there for 40 minutes, no one, no one listen to me. I thought I will die. Until, the police they came, they give me their hand, I give them my hand and I wake up in the hospital. It was nightmare for me, and in that time I find smugglers, who told me, that known me for long time and he’s nicely with me and he said “you know that people, they are paying 5000 pounds, if you can offer 2000 euro, I will take you with me”, I contact with my friend _______ I don’t have brothers, I don’t have family really. He said “it’s fine in my salary it will come and I will give it to you, just wait me for one month”. I arranged the money. I try once in February and the waves was so high, I was almost died, but I don’t scared this time because I feel death before I went. But the people they are crying, they were bringing the people to back. We back again to Calais after 1 hour. On ______ we try again and we enter to the UK.

So there is things that you don’t know. But maybe you want’ to know. In Paris, they want to appear me bisexual things and I resist that, I resist that he was nicely with me, he was just seeing if I will accept or not. But in Barcelona, one of them he wanted to rape me and I broke his head by a bottle of glass and I run away to Paris.

I told you all of my story now. So I’m just running away. Running, running, running.  Until I arrive to the UK and they want to kill my life again to start from zero. The problem is where will I go now? I don’t want to go to Spain. I want to go to another country. I want to go to Canada, I want to go to America. I want to go to any country, I don’t want back to Europe. Even if UK they don’t want me it’s okay. I don’t want to fight their regulation but at least search for a good place for me. I’m really feel bad. There are some people they cross from Spain, just they have fingerprint and they don’t want to Spain, their idea to go to UK, their own choice. But no, I want to stay in Spain, but I can’t stay in Spain. Really I can’t, I can’t. Even in France, one of the police, I forgot to tell you they banged me in my eyes. I still have scars in my eyes. It was bleeding on my face. I know, you will not believe, but I still have a video when he banged me. Is still have the video when I go out from the building in Calais, and before I go from the organisation in Spain, sorry I really forget things, before I go from my organisation I send an informal email to the United Nations, I told them everything what I see in this organisation because I was just asking them to move me to another organisation, but they said we will do our own investigation and no one was look after me. S what else, I call the police, he doesn’t help me, I contact with the United Nations, they don’t help me. I go to Barcelona, they don’t help me. I go to Calais, they don’t help me, the police. So I came to this country. I’m sorry if I bother you but I came by force. So now what? If you want to kill me? They detained me twice, I’m the only boy here in this detention, who is detained twice.

For me, they just detain me, and then no they don’t give me ticket, but for other people, many of them they have ticket except for one maybe. I think there are only two they don’t have ticket, including me. But other’s they have ticket on 27. And today one, our boys, they cancelled their ticket. One only and the others they have ticket, and for me I don’t have ticket. But I’m detained. I spoke with the mental health I told them I’m hearing noise from my head, they don’t care. I told them I can’t sleep, they don’t care. I told them I have nightmares, they don’t care. I told them, I’m taking medicine it’s for my high pressure and I have anxiety in my heart. I have an irregular beating heart you know. I explain everything, but no one cares. Really, I mean it. No one cares. Not immigration, United Nations, European countries. No one cares, no. The problem is UK they are taking our case and country, there is one, his name is Martin Griffiths from 2018, he’s from UK… everything that is going on with this country which is Yemen, no one cares. Unfortunately European countries, they are just lying. This is what I understand now. They are just like an angel from outside and they are dead from inside. I’m sorry to say that, but this is what I discover. I travel from many countries. My ex-girlfriend is from Europe also and when I enter Spain, I know this people they are kindly, but their system for an asylum seeker is bad. It’s exhausting, They are just treating you like a homeless. What I want from my paper if you will not give me accommodation, at least you will give me permission to work. I have high education. Just give me permission to work and I will manage myself. Nothing. Nothing. And now what? Suicide? I can’t. They just give me reason. What I will kill myself? Just help yourself, you can’t even die. No one cares. I came by myself by the way, the taxi he told me, “I will give you a new accommodation”. I said “you are lying, you will take me to the station, it’s okay I am going with, I am not afraid. If they do not want to give me my paper, it’s okay”, you know the God will fix my pain in one day. But now I feel my future is black. Bad life then next it became good life, then bad life, until now it’s bad.

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